Hi, How are You?
by My Dictator Level is Over 9000
Summary: Put these words in a sentence: 2nd Dimension, Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Rodrigo, revenge. Rodrigo wants revenge on Doofenshmirtz for that one day before he took over, and he wants revenge on Vanessa for breaking his heart. Simple, right? Now put the words "Platyborg" and "medicine" in there, and you have something...altogether different. Follows my 'The Meeting' Series. COMPLETED.
1. How high are you?

**Authors Note: I wrote this directly after coming home from the dentist after getting a bunch of needles. I lost count after 3 and I couldn't feel my face. I barely remember writing the first part of this, I got to 400 something words before I stopped and I wrote the rest of it today with my senses intact. I figured that I should finish it. This is my longest oneshot EVER. R&R! Hope you like it! What happened in the dentist is exactly what happened to me. Yay writing from experience! As for the cement, I have absolutely no idea and was too out of it to really ask. Thanks to Galaxina-the-Seedrian for some help! I might consider continuing this and make it a request story. Platyborg getting high for various reasons and the things he does…I'll think about it and maybe a few ideas from you guys would help me decide. Enjoy! :3**

* * *

One day Doofenshmirtz took Platyborg to the dentist. You might be wondering why anyone would take a cybernetic platypus to a dentist and the answer to that question is shut your face. The cyborg had some cavities and they had to be filled, so they stuck him up with needles and worked on him. Soon they were done and Platyborg was free to leave.

The dentist told Doofenshmirtz something about him having cement in his teeth for some strange reason, but the cyborg wasn't listening. He was too busy trying to find the bathroom. Eventually he found it and stumbled into the small room. Platyborg hobbled over to the mirror and looked at his face, he wanted to see if his mouth was as big as it felt at that moment. They looked exactly the same as they would on any other day but the cyborg thought they looked bigger for some strange reason. Maybe it was because he was high on meds. He glared into the mirror.

"What are you looking at?" The reflection didn't respond "Ugly jerk." He muttered and stomped out of the bathroom.

"Oh there you are Platyborg! I thought you wandered off somewhere." Alt. Doof smiled down at him.

"Doof there's this ugly thing in the bathroom and it was looking at me funny. I think I should kill it."

Doofenshmirtz just patted him on the head and soon they were driving home in the car. The man turned on the radio and a catchy tune played.

_My baby's got her own way of talking,_

_Whenever she says something sweet._

_And she knows it's my world she's a-rockin',_

_Though my vocabulary's incomplete!_

_I know it may sound confusing,_

_(Ooh!)_

_Sometimes I wish she'd give it to me straight!_

_But I never feel like I'm losing, _

_(Losing!)_

_When I take the time to translate! _

_Here's what I'm talkin' 'bout-_

Platyborg scowled and changed the station.

_AHHHHHHH! There are squirrels in my pants!_

The cyborg turned the radio off all together and muttered "Damn Bieber…"

Doof gave him a quizzical look and parked the car in front of the building. Platyborg didn't wait for Doofenshmirtz to help him out of the car, he opened the door and jumped out. He landed face first on the pavement.

"Damn Bieber…"

"Careful Platyborg." Alt. Doof helped him to his feet "You're going to knock out your fillings before you even get inside the building."

Platyborg mumbled something incoherent and stumbled into the building but not before being stopped by a family of beavers crossing his path.

"Damn beavers…"

…

Soon they were inside and Platyborg was aimlessly wandering around the living room, studying everything he saw. He rubbed his chin in thought and studied the giant fish tank, and then he pushed the entire thing over with a crash. Glass shattered and water splashed onto the floor, the fish flopped up and down for air. The cyborg stared on for a moment.

"Interesting…"

Doofenshmirtz sighed and watched Platyborg stumble off to another part of the building. He filled a cup with water and kneeled down to pick up the jumping fish, he then placed them in the cup and put them on the top of a large bookcase. The cyborg shouldn't be able to reach them now. The man began walking away when a crash made him slowly turn around. Platyborg was standing behind where the bookcase once was and the case was collapsed onto the floor,

"Hmmm….Interesting…"

"PLATYBORG!" Doof yelled, he was getting a headache and very frustrated.

"Don't yell so loud Doof! My head hurts!"

…

"Take that! And that! No one talks about my mom like that!" Platyborg threw another rock in the air.

"What are you doing?"

"The ceiling keeps saying bad things about my mom!"

"You don't HAVE a mom, Platyborg."

The cyborg sobbed "WHY DOESN'T SHE LOVE ME?"

…

Doofenshmirtz looked around the building for the doped up cyborg, after not finding him anywhere else he looked out the window to see Platyborg talking to a stranger. Well, that's a relief. The dictator was just about to walk away from the window when he heard the cyborg say something interesting.

"Your mama's soooooooo fat... a car crashed into her and she said, 'Who Threw That Rock?'"

Platyborg was punched in the face and the man stomped off, after a moment of regaining his composure and wiping the blood from his nose; he went up to another person.

"Your mama is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a low-rider."

The cyborg was hit again and then walked up to another person and told another joke. This same cycle continued a few more times before Doofenshmirtz actually thought to make Platyborg come inside. He decided against it and figured that he'd learn his lesson eventually and continued on watching, I mean he had to stop eventually right? How many hits could he take?

"Your mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND THE HOUSE!"

Alt. Doof sighed and decided he'd watch him get hit one more time and then go down and get him. Just like he predicted, the cyborg was hit yet again but this time he stumbled backwards and landed in the street. This time Platyborg didn't get up, he just sat there recovering from being hit so many times. He was obviously in enough pain and had taken the last hit he could take. You might think this was good and no one would hit him anymore but you're wrong, he _was _about to get hit and by an oncoming car. The car raced down the street without stopping and Platyborg wasn't getting out of the street. This was going to end tragically if someone didn't do something.

"Platyborg!" Doofenshmirtz called down to him.

The cyborg looked up and waved at him.

"Get out of the street!"

Platyborg's vision was shaky and he couldn't hear the doctor's warnings, so he just sat there straining to hear what Doofenshmirtz was saying. He stood up hoping to hear better but that failed and the car was a mere few feet away. Alt. Doof couldn't watch and turned away, covering his eye with his hand. He expected to hear the impact, metal scraping against metal and the small thud of the cyborg's lifeless banged up body hitting the pavement but he didn't hear anything. He turned back around and split two of his fingers to peak through.

Platyborg was intact and alive, standing on the sidewalk talking to another stranger.

"Your mama's so dumb I told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went looking!"

Oh thank god.

…

Doofenshmirtz told him to come with him in his room while he cleaned; that way the cyborg wouldn't hurt himself or wander out of the building again. When confronted about the stunt he just pulled, the cyborg's only defense was that the ceiling started it.

"This is pretty good Doof" Platyborg chewed "You really outdid yourself."

"That's my _LAUNDRY_!"

…

Alt. Doof was cooking on the stove when Platyborg casually walked in and put his hand near the flames. His hand caught on fire and the flames traveled up his arm and to the rest of his body, soon he was covered in flames and being burned alive.

"YAY! IT BURNS!"

Doofenshmirtz narrowed his eye and casually walked out of the room. He came back with a fire extinguisher and sprayed the cyborg until the flames were out.

Platyborg looked down at his body, he was dripping white foam and fire-free. He looked disappointed. "Aw…"

…

The cyborg got down on his knees and pulled out the black box, the idiot was proposing to a television set.

"I've always loved you."

The scientist sitting on the couch picked up the remote and apathetically changed the channel.

…

Platyborg put down the final apple, now DEI was surrounded by a full circle of green apples. The cyborg walked away from the building with the pump that would blow the whole thing up. When he was sure he was far enough to avoid the blast (about 5 feet away) he started counting down.

"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2-"

"What are you doing and is it legal?" Doofenshmirtz glared down at him.

"I'm blowing up the DEI…with apples! ….Can I have permission to do it?"

"Were you going to ask me my permission _before _I got here?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

"Yay! I lost my count…what number was I on again Doof?"

Alt. Doof sighed "Two."

"Oh yeah! Thanks Doof! 2…1…EXPLOSION!" Platyborg pushed down the handle and watched in anticipation. He was shocked to see that nothing happened, Doofenshmirtz began to slowly clap.

"Congratulations Mr. terrorist, we all fear you. I'm going inside now"

Platyborg watched the man walk back into the building and he pulled out a tiny remote and smiled "I'm glad I used red apples for a backup plan." He pressed the button and watched the building go up in flames.

"PLATYBOOOOOOORG!"

"SUCCESS!"

…

"Hi, this is Dave from Baskin Robbins" Platyborg tried to suppress his giggles and continued into the phone "You have 31 seconds to name the 31 ice cream flavors for 31 free ice cream coupons."

From the other end Rodney sat in a recliner and glared "Platyborg, _why do you want me to kill you?"_

"That's not a flavor Rodney! And this isn't Platyborg, its Dave"

"Alright _Dave, _how do you know my name?"

"I have a phone book! Ha!"

Roddenstein sighed "Platyborg, what's Doofenshmirtz doing?"

"He's taking a nap, why?" The cyborg's eye widened and he scowled "Hey! You tricked me!"

"Have a good evening cyborg and I will see you _very _soon." He chuckled evilly and hung up.

Platyborg hung the phone up and it rang, he answered it "Hello?"

Doofenshmirtz voice angrily replied through the telephone "Get off the phone, _now!_"

"_Who_ _is this?"_

…

"Its…It's a lady bug!" The cyborg hyperventilated "Kill it!"

Doofenshmirtz rolled up a newspaper and was about to bring it down when Platyborg slapped his hand away.

"No! Don't kill it! It's beautiful!

…

"I thought she loved me!" The cybernetic platypus cried and hit the lamp with a shovel. Alt. Doof tried to pry it from his hands. "Stupid lamp! You won't keep us apart any longer!"

"It was a television! Get over it!"

…

"Gimme a D, give me a U!" Platyborg cheered. "Give me an M and a B! What does that spell?…YOU!" The cyborg pointed to a furious Doofenshmirtz.

…

Doofenshmirtz was getting dinner out of the oven when Platyborg jumped out of the cupboards wearing an eye patch and one of Doof's black outfits was wrapped around his head like a bandana and it looked like someone drew white circles all over it. The cyborg was wielding a spatula.

"Argh!" He cried "Thou shall walk-ith the plank!"

"Is that my eye patch?"

…

By the time he got the cyborg to stop hitting him with the spatula and to take off his eye patch and his clothes that served as a makeshift bandana, dinner was knocked out of his hands. So he had to start over. His outfit was ruined because the white crayon was NOT going to come out and now the Platyborg was dancing aimlessly around the kitchen with his plate and spoon. At least he got over the stupid television and moved on. It made him feel better about letting the cyborg start dating again.

Platyborg dropped the plate and it smashed on the tiles.

Ok maybe not.

…

"I hate your cooking. Yes."

"Quit saying yes! And what do you mean you don't like my cooking? You eat it all the time!"

"Yes."

"You don't like my food?"

"No."

…

Dinner was delayed yet again and the food was ruined. Platyborg flooded the kitchen by trying to wrestle with the sink, he still didn't know why he would decide to wrestle with a sink. The spoon was cheating on him with it or something, that's what the cyborg kept screaming when Doofenshmirtz tried to pry him from it. Alt. Doof tried to mop up the water that was up to his knees. It wasn't working; he sighed and put the mop back in the bucket. The bucket was underwater and the stick part of it stuck out of the water. Platyborg erupted from the water and knocked over the mop.

"You win this round sink!"

"Darnit Platyborg! I just cleaned that!"

"Cleaned what?"

…

"LEROY JENKINS!" Platyborg screamed out the window, he quickly ducked down as everyone walking on the sidewalk looked up. He burst into a fit of laughter.

…

"I felt a sharp pain when you said 'good-bye' ..."

"Platyborg, stop reading me poetry and _get out of my shower!_"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

"Look, I don't care if the spoon dumped you! Dating me is not an option!"

…

There was nothing that could ruin dinner this time because he sent Platyborg to the zoo with Vanessa. He wondered how they were doing.

…

Vanessa screamed "Platyborg get out of there right now!" She looked down into the habitat.

The cyborg crawled closer to the alligator "Mom it's you! I knew you loved me! Fate brought us together mommy, can't you see?"

The teenage girl put her hands over her eyes, her dad was going to kill her when she came back without the high as a kite Platyborg.

…

Doofenshmirtz shrugged and put dinner back in the oven. He was sure that they were fine.

…

"Stay here while I get you guy's dinner. DO NOT get out of that chair." Doofenshmirtz told the cyborg and walked away from the small table.

Platyborg sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Platyborg, you shouldn't lean too far back in your chair like that, you could fall or-"

The cyborg tuned the teenage girl out and shook his head. Everything was blurry and shaky from his point of view. He leaned too far back and the chair fell backwards with him going with it. His head smacked painfully against the tile floor. Vanessa reached out towards him in shock.

Doofenshmirtz came back with three plates and sat them down, there was a lack of cyborg at the table.

"Platyborg?"

"Owwwwww…."

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"I didn't fall, I'm hugging the ground."

"Well get up from there and eat your food."

"I hate your cooking."

"What?"

"Nothing." The cyborg picked himself up and they all began eating, soon he was thirsty and got down from his chair heading towards the fridge.

"Where are you going?" Doof asked him and Vanessa looked up from her plate.

"I'm thirsty, I was getting some juice."

"Maybe I should get it so you don't-"

"I can do it!" Platyborg respond angrily and Doof gave up, the scientist sat back in his chair watching the cyborg grab a stool and place it in front of the door. Then he tried opening it; what the cyborg failed to realize is he should have opened the door and _then _put down the stool because the stool is just blocking the door from opening.

"Uh, Platyborg-" Vanessa tried but the cyborg angrily cut her off.

"I said I can do it!" The door wouldn't budge so he began tugging on it harder and harder. He used all his strength and pulled the door open, but it also knocked the stool from under him. Platyborg hung in the air by the handle, the fridge started to tip and he let go just as it tipped over completely to the floor. There was a silence in the kitchen and the cybernetic platypus looked down at the egg whites and yolk seeping out from under the refrigerator. Vanessa nervously looked between her father, the fridge and Platyborg. She knew what was coming and she got up with her plate, abruptly leaving the table and the kitchen all together.

"Platyborg." Doofenshmirtz said oddly enough very calm about what just happened. "How high _are you_?"

"No Doof, it's '_Hi How are you?'"_

...

* * *

"That's it, if you're just going to knock things over then you can do it in your room." Doofenshmirtz dragged the cyborg by his hand down the hallways.

"It was an accident!" Platyborg tried to pull away from him. "The fridge jumped right in front of me!"

"I don't care! I don't want you _destroying _my house. Destroy your own house!"

"But I don't have a house!"

"Move out and buy one."

"You said I was never allowed to move out!"

"I'm starting to change my mind." Alt. Doof opened the door to his room and shoved him in. "I'm starting to think that they gave you a large dosage instead of a small one."

The cyborg was about to run back out when the door was slammed against his face and locked. He fell backwards and blacked out on the green and blue rug. The rug looked very out of place on the concrete floor.

…

* * *

"I don't understand it; he's knocking things over and talking crazy! And _acting _crazy! He can _barely_ walk! I found him _unconscious_ on his bedroom floor! I thought you gave him a SMALL dosage!" Doofenshmirtz finished telling the dentist, he had brought the cyborg back after finding him out cold on the floor. Vanessa was right next to him, petting Platyborg's head in sympathy. It wasn't his fault, they gave him too much of a drug.

"Actually, we _didn't _give him a dosage of anything." The orthodontist told her father.

Wait what? The girl stopped petting the cyborg and looked up at her father with wide eyes.

"Wait, what do you mean you didn't give him anything?" Doofenshmirtz asked, all traces of rage were showing on his face.

It was then that the cyborg in question woke up and gained consciousness. He yawned and sat up from the dentist chair. Two and a half pairs of angry eyes were glaring at him.

"What?"

* * *

**A/N: Oh Platyborg, how I love thee xD**


	2. You're high aren't you?

**Authors Note: Continuation! Thank you WordNerb93 for your requests! Who wants to do chapter 3? x) **

*****Oh and i need a new summary for this! The plot sort of changed...you'll see what i mean.**

* * *

"Doof? Vanessa? Come on, why aren't you talking to me?" Platyborg pleaded to them, he was sitting in the backseat while Vanessa was in the passenger, and Doofenshmirtz was driving. They were both visibly angry.

"What you did today was inexcusable Platyborg." Alt. Doof scowled, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"I still don't know what I did!"

"You acted like a crazy person. We all thought the dentist gave you too much medication. You destroyed things and nearly got yourself killed! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"But I don't remember doing ANY of those things!"

"Now you're lying. That's great Platyborg, just great."

"I'm not lying! Vanessa?" The cyborg turned to the girl.

"You jumped into the alligator habitat." Vanessa didn't bother to turn around and look at him "I thought you were going to die."

"Well why didn't you save me?"

There was a pause and Vanessa grabbed the metal plate on his head, slamming his face against the seat repeatedly.

"Vanessa stop it!" Doofenshmirtz scolded and took one hand off the wheel to pull the teen off.

Platyborg snatched his head away from her hand and scowled, and then started pulling her hair. Vanessa grabbed his head plate and started pulling it in return.

"Knock it off both of you!" When they didn't listen to him, he attempted to pull them apart but he couldn't without getting into an accident. "I will _turn _this car around!"

They kept at it until they both lost their grip, their hands rebounded back and hit Doofenshmirtz in his good eye.

"OW!" He slammed on the breaks and sat there rubbing his eye for the next few minutes.

"I'm sorry Doof."

"Yeah dad, are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I hope this teaches you that fighting doesn't solve your problems. It only causes blazing agony."

"Just like all those times you lost against the resistance. You were in blazing agony then too, huh Doof?"

Doofenshmirtz glared at him for a moment and there was a silence in the car before the dictator grabbed his general's head plate and started slamming his face against the seat.

* * *

Platyborg rubbed his head and walked into the bathroom. His head really hurt from the physical abuse. He climbed up on the sink and opened the mirror cabinet, whenever Doof had a headache he always looked in here. There were a bunch bottles filled with pills, he read the labels and soon found one that fit the situation.

_Extra Strength Pain Reliever._

The cyborg grabbed the bottle and hopped down from the sink. He put a cup under the faucet and filled it with water, he popped the cap and poured a handful of pills into his hand. He wondered how many he should take, let's see…his head hurt a whole lot so he better take more than one. After thinking it over for less than 5 seconds, he decided he better take a lot. Platyborg put a bunch in his mouth and downed the water. He waited for a few seconds, finding it odd that his headache wasn't gone yet. Maybe it didn't work, maybe he needed to take a few more. Being the dimwitted being he was, he took a few more pills. After a few more seconds, nothing happened and he threw the bottle on the ground and stormed out of the bathroom.

"No wonder Doof's always so angry, these pills don't work! He should send them back or something and refund his money."

Platyborg walked down the hallway, he wobbled as he turned the corner.

* * *

The cyborg screwed the last bolt into place and threw the wrench aside carelessly. His eye was dazed and he stumbled a bit. Doofenshmirtz walked into the lab and stared at the big contraption. It was a giant triangle with the point pointed towards the ceiling and a big red ball on the tip of it. Red spirals circled the whole thing.

"What are you building?"

"It's an electromagnet. That'll take care of those pesky Chompers once and for all!"

Alt. Doof was about to ask him what the heck he was talking about when Platyborg activated it. The machine hummed and the cyborg was immediately drawn to the magnet hard, slamming against it with a clang.

Platyborg scowled and screamed "They strike again!"

…

Vanessa jumped in both shock and pain, that stupid little cyborg just _bit _her!

"Ow! Platyborg!" She glared.

Platyborg just moaned as a response "I'm going to eat your braaaaain."

"Get away from me you freak!" She ran all the way to her dad's office, bursting through the door.

"Does no one knock anymore?" Doofenshmirtz asked, more to himself.

"Dad, tell your cyborg to get away from me!"

"How come whenever he does something wrong he's always classified as 'mine'?"

"You made him!"

He sighed "What is he doing this time?"

"He chased me all the way here and he _bit _me!" Vanessa gestured to her arm "Tell him to leave me alone!"

Alt. Doof was about to say something else when the cyborg in question slowly stumbled into the room, he changed his sentence "Platyborg leave Vanessa alone, can't you see she's a loner? You know she doesn't have a boyfriend." He lowered his voice and covered his mouth so she couldn't read his lips "And the way she dresses doesn't help either…"

"Dad!" The girl was appalled by her father's statement "I can't believe you just said that!"

"It's alright sweety, at least the other you is fashionable."

"Well what type of clothes does the other me wear? I bet she looks absolutely wretched." She crossed her arms and turned away.

"It's no big deal Vanessa, not everyone in the world can be fashion forward."

"Oh and _you _are?"

"What's wrong with the way I dress?"

"Well first of all dad, with that eye patch you look like a pirate and _second _you're wearing a DRESS!"

"It's not a dress, it's a-…" He looked down and scowled "Never mind, I wear an eye patch for medical reasons."

"Right, _medical _reasons." She rolled her eyes.

"Try rolling your eyes with only one! It's not satisfying, I can tell you that."

"Whatever, I didn't come here to talk about your wardrobe. Make the little freak stop bothering me!"

"Vanessa he's just playing around with you, I think it's cute. Doesn't he make a cute little zombie?" He started petting the cyborg under the chin and cooing "Who's a cute little cybernetic theoretical zombie? You are! Yes you are!"

Zombieborg had had enough of watching his food communicate; he had to eat them now. He silently placed his teeth directly below and above the man in a dress's hand and bit down hard.

"Who's a cute little-? OW!" He shrieked and tried to pull his hand away, but the cybernetic theoretical zombie wouldn't let go.

Vanessa scoffed and began to walk out of the room "Yeah dad, you were right. Isn't he just the cutest little thing?" She laughed and closed the door behind her.

Alt. Doof rolled his eye and then sighed "Yup…still not satisfying." He looked down at the cyborg attached to his hand "You have five seconds to let go of my hand or else you're going to become a _neutered_ cybernetic theoretical zombie" He paused and continued "One with no eyes, and you won't be satisfied in the least."

…

Platyborg looked at the duck in disgust.

"You are one UGLY platypus."

…

"Oh there you are Platyborg."

"_Oh there you are Platyborg." _The cyborg mocked.

"Are you mocking me?"

"_Are you mocking me?"_

"Watch it Platyborg" Doofenshmirtz glared.

"_Watch it Platyborg, I'm Doof and I think I'm amazing blah!"_

The man scowled and crossed his arms, the cyborg laughed.

"Oh lighten up Doof! Everyone knows your accent makes everything sound stupid."

…

"LEROY JENKINS!" Platyborg screamed out the window and then ducked down, he laughed hysterically. He stopped laughing however when their neighbor 'Leroy Jenkins' walked up to him with his arms folded and a glare on his face.

"Crap…"

…

Doofenshmirtz was minding his own business about to eat a hardboiled egg when Platyborg walked in. The cyborg made a face of horror and screamed.

"MY BABIES!"

…

Platyborg raised the lamp high above his head and glared down at the television.

"LOVE IS A LIE!"

…

The cyborg walked into Doof's office and set a plate on the desk. Doofenshmirtz glared down in front of him at the pie, there was a picture frame sticking out of it for some odd reason.

"I made a new food Doof! I wanted you to try it!

"…There's a picture frame in it."

Platyborg was outraged "IT'S FOOZLEBERRY!"

…

"Smile Doof!"

FLASH.

Doofenshmirtz covered his eye in pain "Knock it off Platyborg! I already have less eyes than I should have!"

"I stole this camera."

…

"Hey Doof do you want to get high?"

"Not really."

"Great! There's the window!" Platyborg began pushing him towards it and the dictator became scared.

"Wait a minute Platyborg-!"

"Out you go!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The ambulance arrived fifteen minutes later.

…

"Hello Platyborg."

"Doof, you're fat."

…

The cyborg watched the television contently from the floor, eyes glued to the screen; both the metal and organic one. The scientist sat on the couch behind him.

"Wow." Doofenshmirtz beamed "I didn't think you'd get into this movie well but you're really focused on it. You haven't said a word or done anything stupid since I put it in."

"Getting into the movie…" Platyborg murmured, stood up and ran face first into the TV; he rebounded back and tumbled to the floor. The screen abruptly went blank.

"I knew it was too good to last." Alt. Doof sighed.

The cyborg got up and apologized…to the TV.

…

Platyborg picked himself up from the floor and rubbed his head in pain. That Leroy Jenkins had a killer left hook…..he needed more pain relievers.

…

"Oh look! A cat!" The cyborg said and smiled down at the kitten. He kneeled down to pet it. "What are you doing here little fella- AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S MAULING MY FACE!"

…

"This is taking too long." Platyborg scowled at the rotisserie, he was making Corndogs. He snapped his fingers when a great idea struck. A few moments later he returned with a flamethrower and a face shield. He pulled the shield down and began torching it.

"_Where did you get a flamethrower from?"_

"FOOZLEBERRY!"

…

"Platyborg, why're all the Normbots dressed like lawn gnomes?"

"They're Lawn Norms!" The cyborg snapped.

…

The cyborg stared at the power outlet deep in thought "Hmmm…" He turned around and jabbed his tail into it. His body jolted and all the lights in the building began shutting on and off at a rapid pace. Currents of electricity went through him from head to toe.

Doofenshmirtz was sitting in his office when this was happening "I could have sworn I paid the electric bill…maybe Platyborg remembers." The dictator got up and walked out into the hallway "Hey Platyborg, did I-" His eye widened and he ran to the cyborg, effectively pulling him out of the socket "Jeez, are you alright?"

The cyborg replied in a monotone voice "Resistance is futile. You will be electrocuted." and then poked the scientist in the nose, successfully giving him a painful zap.

…

"_F-O-O-Z-L-E Foozleberry! Don't forget it! F-O-O-Z-L-E Foozleberry! Don't forget it!"_ Platyborg sang.

"Knock it off!" Alt. Doof screamed "I don't even know what a Foozleberry is!

"_One word at a time!"_

…

The cybernetic platypus walked into the kitchen feeling rather dizzy, Vanessa and Doofenshmirtz were in there talking. He was very hungry and all of a sudden they transformed. Vanessa transformed into a beautiful gigantic corndog with flowing brown hair in a dress and Doof transformed into a giant corndog with a goatee and an eye patch, complete with a scar. It was like corndog heaven! Platyborg ran to them and tackled one to the ground; he began gnawing on it hungrily.

"DAD! GET YOUR PSYCHOTIC CYBORG OFF OF ME!"

"_Platyborg get off of her! This instant!"_

…

"Doof, you are very _very _fat."

…

Platyborg giggled and watched as Doofenshmirtz sat at his desk, he emerged from his hiding place behind the potted plant and fired his pea shooter but it didn't shoot peas. It was _supposed _to shoot marshmallows but what the cyborg didn't notice is, marshmallows are MUCH bigger than peas and make an _excellent_ gun jam.

Alt. Doof glared at the cybernetic platypus as he kept trying to pull the trigger, only getting a clicking sound in return.

"Come on…come on!" The cyborg muttered and kept trying to fire, finally one fired with a _'sproing!'_ and it hit the dictator on the forehead; bouncing off his head and bouncing off his nose, landing silently on the desk.

The glare he was getting didn't soften and Platyborg chuckled nervously. In the end he got a whole bag of marshmallows shoved down his throat and he only choked on three.

"!"

Maybe more.

…

"Stupid stars!" Platyborg yelled and waved his fist at the sky "Stop winkin' at me!"

…

"What do we want? Foozleberries! When do we want em'? Now!" The cyborg walked in a circle in front of the building holding a picket sign in the air.

"_Platyborg, get in the house!"_

"_You're violating my rights Doof!"_

…

Doofenshmirtz sat at a table drinking a glass of lemonade when Platyborg walked into the kitchen with a large axe and a hockey mask. The cyborg growled and raised the axe high above his head. The man screamed and fell back in his chair, slamming his head hard against the table. He didn't get back up after that.

"I've killed him!" The cybernetic platypus brought up the mask and put his hands over his beak "I have to hide the body!

…

Platyborg dragged the dictators' unconscious body to an open window after going up many flights of stairs and got ready to throw him out. The man was heavy and he lifted him up by his front with his arms around Doof's waist, the body hung over him limply. The cyborg got ready to throw him out the office window when Vanessa walked into the room, the teen's eyes widened.

"P-Platyborg? What the heck are you doing with dad?"

"If anyone asks, he was high!"

…

Platyborg burped loudly.

"Gross!" Doofenshmirtz waved the stench away from his nose.

"Your turn!"

…

Alt. Doof set the plate down in front of the cybernetic mammal. Platyborg glared and threw his fork down.

"Oh, just because I'm part duck you feed me worms? That is racist, sir!"

"Platyborg, what are you talking about? It's spaghetti!"

"Thank you Doof but I already know what worm means in Spanish!"

"What?"

"I am surprised at you!"

"Are you high again?"

"Yes, I _would_ like some pancakes!"

"?"

…

Doofenshmirtz picked up a few oranges and put it in his basket; he turned around when he felt something repeatedly poking him in the back. Platyborg continued to poke him in the stomach with a cucumber.

"If you want a cucumber, all you have to do is ask. You don't have to _assault _me with it!"

"En garde!"

…

Platyborg repeatedly ran face first into the walls for no apparent reason.

"Platyborg, stop it! You barely have enough brains as it is!" Alt. Doof scolded.

The cyborg stopped and dusted off the plaster from his body, he looked to his left and froze. That same kitten that had attacked him earlier was standing a few feet away from him. He slowly backed away but that angered the adorable baby cat and it began mercilessly attacking him.

"IT'S MAULING MY FACE!"

…

The cyborg rode the tricycle down the hallways of DEI, he ran it into Doof's legs. He backed up and tried breaking through the obstacle but Doofenshmirtz only glared at him. Platyborg rang his bike bell angrily.

"Let's go! You drive slower that Doofenshmirtz!"

"HEY! I'm standing right here and I'm not driving anything at the moment."

Platyborg lowered his voice down to a whisper "Don't tell him I said that."

Alt. Doof glared a little more before continuing "I don't drive that slow."

"That's what they all say!"

…

"Doof, you're fat."

"I think we've been through this already."

…

"Doof, you're fat."

"You're just not going to stop are you?"

…

"Doof, you're fat."

"ENOUGH!"

…

"Doof."

"If you say I'm fat one more time I swear I will strangle you."

…

"…Hey Doof?"

"What?"

"You're fat.

"…You want to die, don't you?"

…

Platyborg ran into the glass door and fell backwards.

"Doof there's an evil force field surrounding the building!" He called "It's the chompers! They've returned!"

…

The cyborg ran into a window and bounced back.

"NOWHERE IS SAFE!"

…

The semi metal mammal giggled and sat on the copying machine, he got down and picked up the pictures that printed. Platyborg scowled.

"Doof! The copying machine is broken! I tried copying my butt but all I got was this grey metal square with my tail attached to it!"

…

Platyborg tied the shoe laces on his feet and jumped off the building, as he plummeted he screamed.

"SKETCHERS IS A LIE!"

…

Doofenshmirtz sighed "What are you doing and do I want to know?"

"I'm going to drink Mentos and drink soda…at the same time!"

"So your plan is to explode?"

"Silly Doof! I'm not going to explode!"

"Well that's a relief…"

"_We_ are going to explode!"

"Wait what?"

"Ready? Go!"

"Wait! Wait! WAIT!"

Platyborg placed the candy in the liter of soda and quickly downed the contents. Once he was done he threw the bottle carelessly to the side and burped. They both patiently waited for something to happen, the cyborgs stomach started rumbling and gurgling.

…

"This is the most serious case of Mentos Soda-itis we have ever seen." The regular doctor told the dictator "We are going to have to operate immediately."

"Seriously? Can't you just…? I don't know, pump his stomach or something?"

"His stomach _exploded_. We have nothing to pump!"

"Well go ahead and do what you have to I guess." Doofenshmirtz shrugged "But I must warn you, he is _mortified _of needles."

"Oh my, we just sent someone in to sedate him. I sure hope he's alright."

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOOOOOOOOOOF!"_

…

Platyborg took the guitar and smashed it against the floor like 'those cool rock stars do'. He then returned the guitar to their neighbor Mr. Jenkins.

"Here, this doesn't work."

The man wasn't pleased.

…

The cyborg ran around the apartment frantically throwing, flipping and destroying everything in sight. Vanessa peeked out from the cupboard she was hiding in and grabbed the back of her dad's shirt collar.

"_Stop_ him!"

Doofenshmirtz nodded and ran after the demented Platyborg. Eventually he caught him about to flip the large fish tank over…again.

"Platyborg stop! Don't do this!"

"I don't have a choice! They'll kill me!"

Alt. Doof looked into Platyborg's eye and they shared a moment, the moment was ruined when the cyborg flipped the tank over abruptly and it shattered onto the floor.

"Dangit Platyborg!" The dictator stamped his foot "Why do you keep doing that? What do you have against my fish tank, huh? Why can't I have nice things?"

"THOSE FISH ARE A LIE!"

"_YOU'RE A_ LIE PLATYBORG!"

"That's not very nice Doof."

…

"_Hey I just met you~!"_

"Platyborg I swear-!"

"_And this is crazy~!"_

"You know I hate that song!"

"_But here's my number~!"_

"I'm going to kill you-!"

"_So call me maybe!"_

…

"What's a Foozleberry?" Doofenshmirtz asked him.

"Stop making up words I don't understand, Doof!"

…

After a long day of randomness, Platyborg sat down on the couch to relax and watch some TV. That same cat came out of nowhere and hopped up on the couch. The cyborg flinched in horror and covered his face, he looked down at the sight of the cat purring and rubbing up against his leg. He smiled and began petting it, maybe it wasn't an evil cat after all.

Doofenshmirtz walked into his bathroom and stared at all the pills scattered all over the floor. He put two and two together and groaned. He picked up the bottle and stormed out the room to find the stupid cyborg. He found the idiot sitting on the couch.

"Platyborg! Were you in my medicine cabinet?"

"No."

"I know it was you, I told you not to go in there without my permission. Now, how many pills did you take? And tell me the truth!" Alt. Doof tapped his foot.

"I don't know….seventeen?"

"SEVENTEEN? ARE YOU INSANE? We have to get you to a hospital right now! You could die from overdose or some type of poisoning!"

The doctors screaming scared the cat and it growled at Platyborg, it attacked him once more.

"IT'S MAULING MY FACE!"

"Meet me in the car in ten minutes! Leave Mr. FluffyPants here and don't get any blood on my sofa!" Doofenshmirtz slammed the door and left the apartment.

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO?"

…

* * *

"He's fine but we'll need to keep him for…_overnight _observation." The licensed doctor grinned evilly.

The '_licensed doctor' _was darker skinned with black hair neatly combed and a dark gray turtle neck sweater complete with a lab coat. He was older than sixteen but you'd think he was older with the face mask he was wearing, which is exactly what he _wants _you to think and he had an accent. His face mask wasn't to protect him from germs however it was to conceal his identity and in case you haven't figured out the identity from my marvelous description, the teen was none other than Rodrigo himself in disguise; and in case you haven't figured THIS out yet although you probably already should have, _he _was the one who snuck Platyborg a dosage of something the last time. It was all part of his plan.

"Well alright, I better go tell him he's spending the night here-"

"NO!" Rodrigo abruptly stopped him "I mean…he'll be fine. Yeah, you just go home and come back tomorrow." The teen began pushing the dictator out the door.

"Okay, well can I just-"

"Nope! Bye now!" The black haired slammed the door and leaned up against it; he gave a sigh of relief and ripped his face mask off. He chuckled evilly and walked to the room that Platyborg was in. The cyborg was being restrained by nurses and buff men wearing scrubs and face masks. Rodrigo grinned and slowly advanced on the semi metal mammal with a butterfly needle.

"Hey, I know you!" Platyborg glared and struggled against the people holding him.

"Yes, yes you do and I want my revenge on you and Doofenshmirtz once and for all! Have a nice nap little platypus cyborg." He said with his light accent and jabbed the needle into the frantically squirming cyborg's neck.

The little platypus cyborg started to feel dizzy and drowsy, his eye shut with a yawn and his head slammed back against the table. The people holding him let go and backed off.

"Very good, soon my plan will be in full effect. Dr. Doofenshmirtz won't suspect a thing, I'll make sure of it. Soon the world- and Vanessa's heart –will be mine!"

…

* * *

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N: I've always liked Rodrigo, definitely one of my favorite villains. Second to Doofenshmirtz! Well third if you count both dimension Dr. D's separately…**

**Alright so I need some requests on what Platyborg could do in a hospital while high or heavily medicated. Only one person can do requests for one chapter! And when it's their turn again or if there's no one else then they can have a second turn. Again thank you WordNerb93 for requests for this chapter. You have to have an account to do a chapter so I can PM you to ask for more, I need at least 20 requests for different things he could do. The first two chapters are perfect examples for you to follow. 4,000 words! YES.**

**NattyMc is out, PEACE!**


	3. Hospital High

**Authors Note: I am back with the hilarity! :D LET IT BEGIN! The plot has changed AGAIN! Mwahahahaha! (Sort of) **

***Oh and mild cursing in spanish. Yes, Rodrigo speaks Spanish because he has that accent and he is from Venezuella and their language is Spanish so there!**

**TAKE THAT! i did my math! :P**

* * *

Rodrigo didn't think that his plan would backfire so quickly. I mean, yeah he had Platyborg held captive at the hospital and he was still in the early stages of his plans of revenge but…why was the cyborg so _annoying_? It's only been a day and he already had a headache! The teen had to give props to Doofenshmirtz. How did he _deal _with _this _EVERYDAY? He figured he'd just try his best to get through this, I mean what's the worst that could happen?

…

Platyborg spit out the grape flavored medicine all over Rodrigo.

"This isn't grape juice!"

"I never said it was grape juice! I said it was grape flavored _medicine_! How do you confuse the word _juice_ with the word _medicine_!" The boy glared down at him.

The cyborg narrowed his eye in thought "Who are you?"

…

"For the last time! You stupid cyborg platypus! My name is Rodrigo!"

"Fabio?"

…

Platyborg opened a bottle of ketchup and poured it all over himself.

"Pablo, I'm bleeding!"

"_It's RODRIGO!"_

…

The cyborg ran into Rodrigo's office holding a potted tree.

"THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND! HE'S IN TROUBLE! HE NEEDS INSTANT MEDICAL ATTENTION!"

"What's wrong with him?" The teen sighed.

"HE'S A TREE!"

…

Platyborg jumped out of the hospital bed.

"I'M HEALED!"

…

The cybernetic platypus walked into the hospital cafeteria.

"Ladies first" And cut the line.

…

Rodrigo walked past the cyborg's room, hoping not to be spotted by the crazy thing. He was past the room already when he heard something that made him stop walking.

"So, she was super-hot at my place, but she didn't accept me. . .but I shouldn't let one failure discourage me, right?"

He slowly backed up and peered into the room to see Platyborg on one knee in front of a TV set, black box in hand.

"Marry me?"

The teen realized that it was the same ring he had bought to give to Vanessa once his plan succeeded.

"Give me that!" Rodrigo snatched it away from him and peered inside at the ring. He sighed happily as he thought of Vanessa being his once and for all.

The cyborg sobbed "WHY WON'T ANYONE ACCEPT OUR LOVEEE?"

…

Platyborg pushed on a door that read 'pull'.

"Carlos! The door is broken!"

…

"Listen to what I am saying! My name is not Pablo or Fabio or Pedro or Enrique! My name isn't Carlos! My name is RODRIGO! Do you understand?!" Rodrigo breathed deeply in frustration, glaring down at the little cyborg.

"I understand."

"Good." The teen smiled.

"Hey Diego, what times lunch?"

Rodrigo pulled on his hair and screamed a string of Spanish obscenities. "Maldita sea, hijo de un-ugh! Cyborg estúpido! ¿Por qué puedo ponerme en estas situaciones?!"

"Hey Jose, watch your mouth! There are children here!"

…

A doctor walked into an operating room and saw Platyborg standing over an unconscious patient and holding a butcher knife.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The man screamed.

"Whatever you say, IT'S NOT VIOLET BAUDELAIRE!"

…

The cyborg glared at his reflection in the mirror "So we meet again…"

…

Platyborg looked left and right before turning on the vacuum, he then ran away screaming.

"IT'S AFTER MEEE!"

…

"How does one lose their eye in the first place?" Rodrigo asked the cyborg sitting across from him. They were actually having a decent conversation and sipping tea together.

Platyborg put his tea down and narrowed his eye "Who are you?"

…

"You must remember me! I tried tearing the Tri State Area in half and taking over the world that one time?" When all he got was a quizzical look from the cyborg he continued "I tried to get Vanessa to join me, only for her to refuse and crush me heart." He put an arm over his eyes for effect; Rodrigo opened his eyes and removed his arm. He narrowed his eyes. "It's Pablo."

"Rodrigo! Now I remember you!"

The teen smiled, satisfied.

"You delivered that pizza once!"

"Yeah! That was me!" Rodrigo offered a fake smile.

"Really?"

"NO, NOT REALLY YOU IDIOT!"

…

The black haired teen watched in disgust as the cyborg ate the cotton balls from out of the cabinet.

"Want one?" Platyborg asked with a full mouth so it came out muffled, he held out the jar.

"No…no thanks…"

…

The cybernetic platypus ran around the hospital throwing jelly beans at other patients, singing at the top of his lungs.

"Magical, candy-colored pills will cure you forevvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrr rrrrrrrr!"

…

Platyborg was bored and decided to break dance in Rodrigo's office, in hopes to break everything in there. He broke nothing but himself.

…

The cyborg followed random people around the hospital, copying their every move. He made the mistake of copying his neighbor Leroy Jenkins who was there for a CAT-scan.

…

Platyborg duct-taped the door to Rodrigo's office shut.

"Don't come out, it's a surprise!"

…

"Let me out of here!" The teen screamed from inside his office.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please!"

"That's not it."

…

"Metal."

"That's not it either!"

"Then what is it?"

"It's Foozleberry!"

…

"The magic word is Foozleberry."

Platyborg opened the door in amazement "How'd you know?"

…

As a patient is being led to the Emergency Room, the cyborg ran over to a doctor and screamed "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THOSE WRAITHS ARE STILL OUT THERE!"

…

Platyborg walked into a room with an older patient and then pointed at him, screaming "GANONDORF!"

…

He somehow snuck into the medicine cabinet and mixed the different medicines together "This'll show Pablo that I'm responsible! How dare he mock my wizard skills!"

…

The cyborg pulled on Rodrigo's lab coat and said in a low voice

"I don't want to alarm anyone…but I think one of those doctors is really a talking zebra in disguise. Now I already called the police-"

"YOU WHAT?"

"Shhh! He'll kill us all!"

…

"As you can see officer…" Rodrigo explained nervously and pulled the cyborg by his side, he put his hand over its bill. "He's mentally unstable so you can't believe a word he says…I am SO sorry he _prank _called you." Platyborg tried to pull away from him but the teen held him firm.

Mr. Officer Police Guy nodded and told them to have a good night, inwardly smiling at the cyborg's misfortune and plotting his _own_ revenge.

…

Platyborg took a bite of his hospital food and spit it out, gagging "I've been poisoned!"

…

"What are you doing?" Rodrigo crossed his arms and glared down at the cyborg.

Platyborg continued painting red arrows on the wall, who KNOWS where he got the paint from.

"I made signs so there will no longer be any wheelchair accidents!"

"No one ever gets into any wheel chair accidents! Now clean this up and get back to your room!" The boy started wiping away the paint, a screeching noise and a crash made them both turn around. Two wheelchairs had just collided, both occupied by two confused looking old people. Seemingly out of nowhere, a small fire started. Rodrigo just stared and the cyborg gloated.

"See? What did I tell ya? But NO ONE listens to the cyborg. Did you listen? NO! You didn't and now innocent people are dead. I hope you're happy Fabio! I hope you're happy!"

…

"What the-?" Rodrigo tried to pull the hospital instruments from the tray but they wouldn't budge. Almost like someone glued them to the metal tray with super glue. Platyborg whistled and walked out of the room that nobody was aware that he was in until now, carrying a bucket labeled 'super glue'.

…

The cyborg walked into one of the patients rooms holding a butcher knife "The doctor will see you now" He smiled evilly.

…

Platyborg stared in horror at the fake skeleton hanging from the wire.

"It's Doof's ghost! Come to haunt me for getting rid of the body! You didn't die in vain! Why must you haunt me oh dear spirit?!"

…

Rodrigo whistled and walked down the hospital hallways, he heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see that Platyborg was following him.

"IT'S YOU!" The cyborg screamed and ran away.

The teen rolled his eyes.

…

Platyborg walked into another patient' room and whispered "When I'm done, you hide the body, and then await my further instructions." and then slowly backed out.

O_O

…

The cyborg handed an old man a bunch of pills "Here, eat these."

…

"Who wants to share my fruit cup?" Platyborg held the cup of fruit in the air.

Everyone screams in terror.

…

Platyborg filled a sling shot with pills and shot them at the fire alarm. The sprinkler system activated and water began pouring down, he started singing under an umbrella.

"_We'll take off all our clothes off and we'll DANCE in the rain~!"_

…

He followed Rodrigo around and dictated wherever Rodrigo was going into Dora singing.

"Where are we going? A patient's room!"

…

"Where are we going? To where the medicine's kept!"

"Do you really want to know how much I want to kill you right now?"

…

"Where are we going? To the restroom!"

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

…

Platyborg followed an annoyed Rodrigo around the hospital "Rod, Roddy, Rod, Roddy, Rod, Roddy, Rod, Rod...Roddy, Rod, Rod, Rod, Rod-"

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing."

…

Platyborg called 911 and screamed into the phone. "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! I'M IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM! SO IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

…

The cybernetic platypus ran up to an old man in a wheel chair and taped him to his seat.

"Seatbelts! So we can be safe!" And then ran away.

…

Platyborg blew up one of the doctors. (Don't worry, he survived, he just needs a lot of surgery. Good thing they're in a hospital though.)

…

Platyborg somehow caused a giant rock to fall from the sky and crush everything.

"Everything went according to plan!"

"You killed over half of the patients in here!" Rodrigo exclaimed.

"Even better than planned!"

…

"I want macaroni and cheese!"

"No! You'll get meatloaf and like it!" Rodrigo yelled back.

"I WANT MACARONI AND CHEEEEEEESE!" Platyborg whined loudly.

"FINE!"

…

"Here." The teen muttered and handed him the warm plastic cup.

The cyborg threw it back at the older males face "I want meatloaf!"

…

A pretty female nurse in a short skirt walked past him.

"You're MUCH hotter than a television set" Platyborg grinned.

The girl winked at him and flipped her hair, walking away with style.

...

"I just don't understand the other dimension me." The cyborg told a bored looking Rodrigo "He's like a nudist or something!"

…

Platyborg was being bandaged up after breaking himself during break-dancing.

"Hold still!" Rodrigo muttered.

"AHHHHH! THE PAIN! IT'S UNBEARABLE! TELL MY CHILDREN I LOVE THEM!"

"I have not even touched you yet!"

…

The cyborg walked around the hospital moaning, he was covered head to toe in bandages.

"Fear me! For I am the mummy queen!"

…

Platyborg jumped out of the window from the top floor.

Rodrigo looked out the window of his office "What the. . .?!" He runs outside and over to Platyborg, who's lying on the ground moaning. "WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO DO?!"

The cyborg groaned "Red Bull does NOT give a person wings..."

"Wait, what's this about Red Bull? WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET RED BULL IN A HOSPITAL?!"

Platyborg looked up at him disgusted "I'm too YOUNG to drink beer, you Doofus!"

…

"_Slow down and look around. Throw your to do list away! The clouds look like sheep and vice versa~!"_

"Stop…Singing." Rodrigo glared.

"_On our do nothing day! Our…do…nothin'…daaaaaay."_

…

The cyborg watched TV contently.

"That's enough television for now, you will fry your brain." The black haired teen then muttered "Not like you have much of that as it is…"

Platyborg jumped down from his seat and scowled "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY WOMAN!"

…

Platyborg walked past the room of a patient who owned a pet cat. The cat jumped off Leroy Jenkins' lap and attacked the cyborg

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THERE'S A KITTEN MAULING MY FACE WHEREVER I GO!"

…

The cyborg stared up at the clock on the wall while one of Rodrigo's assistants walked by, he immediately turned and asked them what time it was.

…

A young male with red hair walked into the hospital, Platyborg pointed a finger at him and screamed.

"It's Justin Bieber!"

A mob of girls came out of nowhere and began mauling the boy.

…

Jeremy walked into the hospital casually.

"It's Justin Bieber!"

"What?" Was all Jeremy had time to say before he was tackled by screaming girls.

…

Rodrigo walked up to Platyborg "Will you stop doing that? One it's getting old and two, people are getting hurt!"

"Ok." The cyborg nodded.

…

Justin Bieber walked into the hospital. The cybernetic platypus gasped and pointed.

"It's Kim Kardashian!"

…

Platyborg smiled and walked up to a couple "Hi, welcome to Walmart! I will be happy to assist you in any way!"

He continued doing this with multiply people.

…

"Hi, welcome to Walmart! I will be happy to assist you in any way!"

…

"Hi, welcome to Walmart! I will be happy to assist you in any way!"

…

"Hi, welcome to Walmart! I will be happy to assist you in any way!"

…

"Hi, welcome to Walmart! I will be happy to assist you in any way!"

…

"Hi, welcome to-"

"Is this Walmart?" Johnny, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend asked in a dull tone. (Platyborg didn't recognize him.)

The cyborg scowled "No, this isn't Walmart! What do I look like, an idiot? Go take your stupidity somewhere else!"

…

"_I'd catch a grenade for ya~! Throw my head on a blade for ya~! I would die for you baby! But you won't do the same?"_

"Stop singing to that television!"

…

"_Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, Hope you get well soon. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, Have a heart shaped balloon!"_

"Stop singing to the patients!"

…

"_Ding fries are done! Ding fries are done! Ding fries are done! Ding fries are done! I gotta run! I gotta run! I gotta run! I work at Burger King making flame broiled whoppers, I wear paper hats! Would you like an apple pie with thaaat? Would you like an apple pie with thaaat?"_

"WHO are you singing to?!"

…

"Hey Rodrigo, how are you doing?"

The teen was surprised to actually hear a sensible sentence come out of the cyborg's mouth. He actually smiled and answered "I'm doing good, are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, I'm feeling much better. Thank you. Would you like some fries with that?"

"Uh, what?"

"I said I'm feeling much better. Thank you."

"No, what you said before. Something about fries?"

"I don't think I understand the question." Platyborg looked innocently uncertain.

"Never mind, I'm sure it was nothing. Well see you later." The human turned to leave the room.

"Bye. Would you like some fries with that?"

Rodrigo froze in the doorway.

…

"Knock it off!"

"Knock what off?...Would you like some fries with that?"

"You know what you're doing!" The teen pointed.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You keep ending your sentences with the question 'Would you like some fries with that?'-!"

Platyborg thought this over and then smiled _"Ding fries are done~!"_

…

The cyborg sat in the middle of a room screaming his lungs out.

A doctor rushed into the room and scowled "Would you PLEASE? We have sleeping patients down the hall. Why're you screaming like that anyways?"

"I'm working on my opera."

…

Platyborg looked at his reflection in horror and came to a dreadful and blatantly obvious conclusion that he is, in fact, not wearing any clothes.

Rodrigo walked in.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

…

The phone rang and Rodrigo answered it from his small office. "Hello."

"Hola mi hijo." A older Spanish speaking woman greeted (his mom :P) "How is the college going? I know you must be keeping up your grades. Are you almost a lawyer yet?"

"Si mama. The classes are going exceedingly well. I will be a lawyer in no time!" Rodrigo lied and was almost disgusted at the words he was saying. He would NEVER be a lawyer; his goal was to one day rule the ENTIRE WORLD! He almost maniacally laughed out loud.

"You're not a lawyer." Said a voice that was neither his or his mother's. Rodrigo recognized it instantly and was visibly angry.

"Who is this?" His mom asked.

"It's no one mom, really. He's not important." Rodrigo faked a sincere voice and then muttered into the phone to the call intruder "If you don't get off the phone I swear I will kill you!...No mom I wasn't talking to you….It doesn't matter who I was talking to, he's gone now. Yes, I'm a lawyer."

"No you're not." Platyborg looked appalled, holding the phone in his room while sitting on the hospital bed.

"Get off the phone you metal rat!...No mom, I wasn't talking to you-!" Rodrigo slammed his head down on his desk when his mother hung up. Great. How was he supposed to explain this?

"Hello?" The cyborg's voice came through the phone.

The boy sat up in his seat and grinned evilly. That was the final straw, no more waiting around for something to happen or for Doofenshmirtz to find out that something was out of place. Which oddly enough, was taking a long time. What on earth could the man be doing instead of worrying about his cyborg?

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeed!_

Doofenshmirtz danced in his living room, singing. _"Platyborg is gone. Yes! Platyborg is gone!" _The telephone rang and he completely ignored it. He was doing the conga when Vanessa walked in; she rolled her eyes and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello Vanessa."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow "Who is this?"

"You may not remember me, but I remember _you_…."

"Ok weirdo, if this is some type of prank call then-"

"This is no prank, I was actually hoping to speak to your father. Is Dr. Doofen_shmirtz_ home?"

"DAD! Someone's on the phone for you!" She called away from the phone and when he just ignored her, she sighed and brought her mouth back to the speaker. "He's kind of busy right now. Could you leave a message or call back or something?"

"Yes…tell Dr. Doofen_shmirtz _that Rodrigo called, concerning a _c_ertain _c_yborg."

The girl's eyes widened at the name and she finally knew who she was talking to.

"Rodrigo? You mean that dweeb that tried to tear the Tri State Area in half and make me join him?"

"I am NOT a dweeb!" He exploded into the phone and then quickly calmed himself "Yes, this is he."

"Why do you even want to talk to my dad anyways?"

"Like I said to you before, it's concerning a _c_ertain _c_yborg."

"What _about_ Platyborg?" Vanessa narrowed her eyes.

"He's here if you want to speak to him." Rodrigo held the phone out so Platyborg could speak into it; he was tied up at the moment.

"Hi Vanessa! Hehehe…_I've been shot in the butt with a dart!_ Haha!" The cyborg giggled and his captor pulled the phone back to his own ear with a smirk.

"What do you want?"

"The world and nothing less, also…a little something extra…but more importantly: I want revenge! Hear me Vanessa Doofen_shmirtz_, you will regret the day you turned me down and you will regret the day you stopped me from destroying the _T_ri State Area!"

"But I _didn't _stop you from destroying the Tri State Area! Monty Monogram, Major Monogram's son did! In case you didn't notice, _I _was stuck in a boot trap!"

"Yes, but why get revenge on him when I could easily get revenge on you? Genius, no?"

"No!"

"No matter. You have no choice but to give in to my demands! I have the upper hand!"

Vanessa sighed "Fine, what do you want from me?"

"I _want _you to suffer heart break, just like I did after I was defeated- I mean you didn't see it visibly but I felt it on the inside –and the best way for you to suffer heart break is by taking away someone you care about, forever!"

"What are you going to do to him? My dad will freak if something happens to his cyborg!"

"Exactly, his heart will be broken and so will yours! You both somewhat care for the thing, am I correct?" He paused and continued at the silence "I'll take your silence as a yes! Say goodbye to your _brother _mija!"

"He's NOT my brother! He's a stupid cyborg that my dad made and he-" Vanessa stopped herself. Who was she kidding? Of course she cared about Platyborg, but she would NEVER admit to that little thing that she thought of it as a sibling-

"Hi again, Vanessa!" Platyborg greeted into the phone once more.

"Platyborg! Where are you?"

"The Danville General Hospital, why?"

"You fool!" Rodrigo took back the phone and barked at him "Now she knows where we are!"

"I'm coming to get you Platyborg, just sit tight and I'll be right there ok?" She told him and gasped when Rodrigo's voice chimed in her ear.

"_You'll have to find us first."_

The line went dead and the sound of a dial tone was heard even as she left the phone hanging from the cord, running to the hospital as fast as she could.

Once she got there, she ran to the front desk. Vanessa frantically described the small cyborg to the receptionist, using both her hands to show her the height, weight and every detail about Platyborg that she could possibly remember and say in such a short amount of time. The lady pointed down the hall and the teen ran there quickly, finding the room empty. The room looked like it had been cleaned out abruptly, the window was wide open. She ran to it and peered out to see a black van waiting outside, she was almost certain that it wasn't there when she got here. Rodrigo opened the door of the van and waved at her. Vanessa ran down the stairs and to the front entrance of the hospital just in time to see the black van speeding away, the door still open and the boy smirking at her. He blew her a kiss and she glared at him in disgust. She tried to run after the van but like in all movies and TV shows, it is impossible to run after a car. _Especially _while wearing such a puffy dress.

She stopped running and finally gave up chasing after the car. A white piece of paper fluttered in the cold night breeze and landed at her feet. She bent down to pick it up, she unfolded it and read the contents of what was inside.

**_D.A.S.S _**

_See you there._

_-Rod. _

DASS? What on earth could that mean?

Vanessa pocketed the piece of paper and sadly walked home, _without _Platyborg. She made a promise to herself that she'd get Platyborg back and kick Rodrigo's DASS while she was at it.

* * *

**A/N: Change of plans! This is now a contest! Whoever can find out what the hidden locations initials stand for will get to do requests for the next chapter. Since this is the first one, I'll make it easy for you and I'll give you the site to look it up.**

***Hint:**

**Doofenshmirtz **

**Abandoned**

**S.**

**S.**

**(Use the Phineas and Ferb wiki if you have to)**

**NattyMc is out, PEACE!**

*****ANDDD! I need a new summary for this! Including the whole Rodrigo and kidnapping Platyborg and leading Vanessa on a wild goose chase!**

**Okay NOW I'm out, PEACE!**


	4. Hi Kasey

**Authors Note: The majority of you who tried, got it right but only one answered first. Congratulations WordNerb93! x) Let's see who gets the next one! **

* * *

_Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Self Storage!_

"Hey Rod! Look at this!"

Rodrigo turned around and had just enough time to dodge a chair that was flung at him. The chair hit the wall and smashed, wood went flying.

"Wha_t_ are you _t_rying _t_o _d_o? Kill me?"

"I found a box of throwing chairs!"

…

Platyborg's stomach gurgled and he knew exactly what was coming. He bit his lip and looked at Rodrigo, he was not that far away looking through different boxes. The cyborg walked up to a box and found a trumpet; it sort of looked like a funnel. He suddenly had a flashback. If the funnel worked for him last time…

He smirked and put the cony side of the trumpet up against his rear end and-

Pppppbbbbffftttt!

The man turned around and looked at the cyborg in disgust. "I am not cleaning that up!"

…

Platyborg looked down in disgust, he couldn't clean up his own accident! That's what Doof was for! Although, the cyborg hadn't had an accident since he was smaller and it only used to happen when he was scared. He was NOT cleaning that up!

…

"Look! A bug! Hey little guy! You're my new pet and I'm going to name you Mr. Roachy and-"

Rodrigo stomped on it.

"MURDERER!"

…

The man rolled his eyes down at the kneeling cyborg.

"MR. ROACHY SPEAK TO ME?!"

…

Platyborg tried to get unstuck but he couldn't, he was stuck in the ventilation system head first.

"What are you doing?" Rodrigo crossed his arms, looking up at the cyborg's metal platy-posterior.

"Mr. Roachy?! Is that you?"

…

"Look! A vacuum!" Platyborg turned it on and put it too close to his face, the hose got stuck on his mouth and he frantically tried to pull it off.

Rodrigo had his back turned and couldn't see anything, so he asked. "Hey could you pass me the wrench?"

So in the end Platyborg passed out from lack of oxygen and Rodrigo never got his wrench =/

…

"Hey look! It's a baby platypus!" The cyborg picked up the wooden toy from out of the box.

"That's a toy."

"I don't care what you say Fabio! You may have killed my pet but you won't take my son away from me! Isn't that right Platyborg Junior?" He cooed.

Rodrigo rolled his eyes and snatched the toy away from him, throwing it out the open window where it landed with a crash on the pavement below.

…

"MURDERER!"

…

Rodrigo turned around at the sound of a click as the cyborg handcuffed himself to a nearby pole.

…

"Stop handcuffing yourself to things!" The man scolded him and worked to pick the lock of the handcuff that was now attached to the door knob.

…

After the handcuff was unattached from Platyborg's wrist again, Rodrigo stood up and started walking away. "It's getting late and I have to get things ready for when Vanessa gets here-"

Clicck!

The man's features fell as he look down at the handcuff around his wrist, his features hardened when he looked over at the cyborg attached to him.

"What is WRONG with you?"

…

"Look a sandwich!"

"Don't eat that-"

Gulp!

"Too late!" Platyborg smiled.

…

"Rodrigo…" The cyborg burped up a green string of air "I don't…feel so good."

Rodrigo walked over to him with his arms crossed "What's wrong with you?"

"I think I'm going to- MMMBLEH!"

"Not the shoes!"

…

"My mom bought me these shoes! How dare you release your stomach all over them!"

…

"Look a blue print! Read it to me!"

The black haired male snatched the paper from him and looked at it "It's the blue print for a cyborg." Rodrigo read it, crumpled it and carelessly tossed it over his shoulder.

Platyborg ran to catch it and unwrinkled it "It's my birth certificate! Look! There's Doof's signature!" He hugged it against his metal chest and folded it to fit in the compartment in his chest for safekeeping.

He failed to notice that his thumb was covering Rodney's signature.

…

"The Ark of the Covenant is somewhere in this building…I just have to follow this map."

"That's the menu of the pizza place downtown you idiot!"

…

"_Hey I just met you~!"_

"Silence!"

"_And this is crazy~!"_

"Why do you like that song?!"

"_But here's my number~!"_

"MAKE IT STOP!"

"_So call me maybe~!"_

…

"Look!" Platyborg pointed to the poorly made fedora made out of newspapers on his head and smiled "I made a hat!"

The man knocked it off his head with a wave of the arm.

"MURDERER!"

…

"Oh cool! It's a ray gun!"

"Put that down!"

_ZAPPP!_

…

" Z! Now I know my ABC's! Why won't Rodrigo sing with me?"

…

"The building is haunted! It's going to explode!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Exorcism!"

…

"FOUR!" Platyborg shouted and swung the golf club. The golf ball whizzed past Rodrigo's head and smashed through a window.

He put down the box he was looking in and glared "Will you cut it out?! What if someone heard that? Do you want me to be arrested for trespassing?"

"Who are you?"

"For the hundredth time I'm-!" The man stopped himself "Never mind. I am not going to pay attention to you. If I don't give you my attention, you will eventually get bored so I am not paying attention to you any longer."

…

"Rod?"

Rodrigo ignored him and went back to looking through more boxes. Platyborg went up and tugged on his lab coat, he was pushed onto the floor with force and the junior scientist walked away with the box. The cyborg picked himself up and dusted himself off. He sighed and looked out the glass window, he wondered what Doof and Vanessa were doing. He really missed them.

* * *

Vanessa snuck past her father's office without him seeing. Great, now she just needed to get to her ro-

"Vanessa."

Darnit! How does he always do that? "Yes dad?"

Doofenshmirtz didn't look up from his paperwork "Why're you sneaking past my office at a quarter past midnight?"

She hadn't realized it was that late. "I uh…"

"Leave his name and address on my desk, his parents will be dead by morning."

"Dad! You don't have to freak out about this! I'm sorry I'm late! I just got caught up with him, that's all."

"Caught up huh? Caught up in bed sheets is more like it..."

"No dad! I'm responsible and I would never do that to you! Why can't you have a little faith in me?"

"You're right. I'm sorry sweetie, I completely trust you."

"Thanks."

"Give me his address."

"Not going to happen dad!" Vanessa rolled her eyes and walked to her room.

Doofenshmirtz laughed to himself and called a Normbot over. "Guard her door and make sure she doesn't leave it."

The robot hovered out of the office and down the hall to Vanessa's room.

…

Vanessa lied down on her bed, looking up at the small piece of paper in the light. What the heck did DASS mean? Was he complementing her butt? It wasn't THAT great….all jokes aside. She had to figure this out so she could find Platyborg and bring him back before her dad noticed something was up! He was already getting suspicious as it is! DASS wasn't a word so it must be an acronym, but an acronym for what?

D

A

S

S

How was she going to guess what an acronym stood for? It could be anything! From a secret organization that actually has a cool acronym to someone's initials! What could it possibly stand for? Since Rodrigo was acquainted with her dad then maybe it had something to do with him. He's been watching her so it had to be something recent and not just out of the blue. Let's see…what has her dad said in the past 48 hours?

"_Platyborg! Stop trying on my underwear!"_

Nope, that wasn't it.

"…_Why do I get the feeling that the other me just voluntarily changed species?"_

That wasn't it either.

"_There is WAY too much stuff in this room; I'm going to have to get the Normbots to move some stuff to my abandoned self-storage downtown…"_

Bingo!

She got off her bed and opened the door. Two robots silently guarded the exit and she slowly closed the door without them noticing. Great. Her dad was way past suspicious! He'd kill her later but she knew that she had to find Platyborg and bring him back safely. Vanessa opened her window and climbed out, this was going to take a while. She really needed to reconsider her wardrobe...

* * *

Vanessa stepped down and slipped on the last few feet, she fell to the ground but her puffy dress broke her fall. She got up and dusted herself off, she looked around to make sure no one had seen her and then bolted down the streets towards Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Self Storage.

…

_Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Self Storage!_

"FOUR!" Platyborg yelled and threw the golf club. (He was out of golf balls). The club smashed through a window.

"ENOUGH!" Rodrigo screamed at him "Why must you make so much noise? Someone is going to call the police for a disturbance!"

The cyborg scoffed. "No one's going to call the police for a disturbance."

...

"I can't believe someone called the police for a disturbance." Platyborg said, he and Rodrigo were staring down at the flashing lights and police cars surrounding the storage.

The junior scientist was freaking out "I can't go to jail! What will my mother think? I'm supposed to be a lawyer!"

"Newsflash Rod, you're NOT a lawyer."

Rodrigo glared down at him and then evilly smirked. "I am not going to jail tonight. We are going to escape here and find a new hiding spot."

"What makes you think I'm going anywhere with you?" The cyborg backed away from him.

"I hope you enjoy your nap, little platypus cyborg."

"What nap?"

He put a plastic bag over Platyborg's face and held it there until he stopped moving. The black haired teen slipped the bag off and threw the small unconscious body over his shoulder, slipping out of storage unit.

…

When Vanessa got to the Abandoned Storage, it was surrounded with police. She tapped on a police officer's shoulder. Mr. Officer Policeman Guy turned around to face her.

"Ah, Miss Doofenshmirtz. I'm glad you're here, we've been expecting you."

"Y-you have?"

"Yes, your father sent you right?"

"Um, yeah…" She was beyond confused.

"Well it seems there was a break in, lucky nothing was stolen though. The perpetrator got away I'm afraid."

Vanessa knew that this wasn't a classic case of breaking and entering. Rodrigo had to have been in there with Platyborg. The only question was where are they now? "Has…my father's cyborg been spotted around here? Has there been any sign of him in the unit at all?"

"Excuse me for saying this Miss Doofenshmirtz but that is rather ridiculous. Why would a cyborg be in a storage unit?"

She scowled and was led to a police car. She sat in the car and tears streamed down her cheeks. How was she going to find Platyborg now? This whole thing was hopeless! She couldn't do this alone! She needed help! But who would ever want to help the _dictator's_ daughter find the _dictator's_ _general_?

A knock on the window broke her out of her sad thoughts and she rolled down the window. A teen, older than her but shorter smiled at her. He had dark reddish hair and glasses, sporting a black trench coat with the letter 'D' in a dark red letter.

"Good Evening Miss Doofenshmirtz."

"H-Hello."

"I couldn't help but…_overhear _your dilemma and I would like to offer my assistance…"

"You want to help me? Why?"

"Let's just say that I'm an old friend of your father's…and I owe a debt that is now passed down to you."

"I don't know…"

"Do you want to find Platyborg or not?"

"How do you…?" Vanessa looked at his smirking expression and all her commonsense was telling her to refuse his offer and find Platyborg on her own, but she knew she wouldn't be able to do this on her own and she _needed _help. She had no choice but to accept his offer, but she was still unsure of her decision. "How can you help me?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, we have to relocate first so as not to arouse suspicion but before we do that we have to make sense of this note." He handed her a small piece of folded paper.

She unfolded it and a million questions ran through her head at once, she managed to identify one. "What's your name again?"

"I don't believe I disclosed that information a first time." The boy chuckled "But you can call me K.C."

"Kasey…" She murmured, misinterpreting the initials as a name and looking down at the paper.

_T.O.A.C.F_

_Let's try this again; second dates are always a good sign._

_-Rod._

The wild goose chase continued and this time she had help, this time around she couldn't fail. Platyborg's life depended on it.

* * *

**A/N: Who can guess the mystery location hmm? If not then I'll pick someone at random or something…Thank you Frosty for your offer.** **You can suggest anything you want for this story at any given time. And if you don't know K.C. then…just go back over the description a couple of times. I assume most of you know this I mean come on…**

**Might need another summary change...**

**Natty is out, PEACE!**


	5. High five! Not literally!

**Authors Note: I don't own this version of 2D Carl (although I might be changing it a bit), FrostShadowStar does and be sure to check out her fic 'Spot of Blue Amongst the Grey'. It's good, trust me ;) **

**And thank you DarkDemonGirl1985 for your very few requests xD It's alright though, I like the chapter WAY better like this!**

_**And **_**check out a fic by MsAmiClassified called 'Summer Cries'. You should totally go do that after you read this update.**

**AND there's more action then there is humor in this chapter, but you'll still be on the edge of your seat trying to think of what's going to happen next! **

* * *

"I'm in love!" Platyborg exclaimed and hugged the giant mixer, rubbing it lovingly.

Rodrigo ignored him and walked away.

…

"I'm gonna sing The Doom Song now! Doom doom doom doom doom, doom doom do DOOM, DOOOM doom do-doom, DOOM do-doom doom doooom, doom doom dooom, do-do-DOOOM!"

"SILENCE!"

…

"Meega Nala Kweesta!"

"I don't even know what language you're speaking!"

…

"If you do ONE more thing to get on my nerves I swear you will deeply regret it."

…

"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!"

Platyborg then proceeded to do the shuffle for the next fifteen minutes

* * *

"Wait, how can you be an old friend of my dad's? You're younger than him…like closer to my age. And are you sure that policeman said it was okay for us to use his car?" They had been driving for nearly five minutes, him in the driver's seat and her in the back.

"Of course, you don't think I _stole_ it did you?" Carl smirked but she couldn't see it.

"No! Of course not! I just-" She sighed "I've had a lot on my plate recently…"

"I completely understand. It is rather stressful to lose someone close to you."

"But that's just it! Platyborg isn't close to me! He's my dad's annoying cyborg and he drives me insane! We're not close! I barely even like the thing, but now that he's gone I just…" Vanessa stopped herself before she broke down, that was the last thing that she or Platyborg needed right now.

"Well maybe you like him more than you think you do. Your brain might say that you hate someone…but your heart can say something completely different. We just don't always know it…" He sounded hopeful but she didn't notice it.

"I guess your right…maybe I do have a soft spot for the little cyborg after all. Thanks."

"It's no problem. Oh and to answer your earlier question, I'm actually a vampire."

"Wait…What?"

The boy snickered "I'm only joking Miss Doofenshmirtz, I've known your father my entire career. He's the one who jumpstarted it but enough about me. We should really figure that hint out."

"Right... well-"

"We're here." He cut her off and pulled to a stop in front of a small purple house.

"My dad's suburban house? What are we doing here?"

"I use it as a hideout when I'm working. I hope you don't mind." Carl got out of the car and opened her door for her, extending a hand to help her out.

Vanessa took it and stood up, walking to the front door. She heard the car door close behind her and she juggled to find words "No…not at all. Uh, does my dad know about this?"

"Knowing things is overrated…"

She didn't say anything more and let him unlock the door with a key that he kept in his shoe. Wow, paranoid much? She sat on the couch and he sat next to her.

"So…" Vanessa began.

"Hm?"

"The hint?"

"Oh yeah!" He looked excited but then shoved that feeling aside to act more casual "Run it by me."

"T-O-A-C-F" She didn't bother to read the message below it, it wasn't relevant and it was kind of embarrassing…

"That's not all it says."

Vanessa looked up at him to see he was focused on her face, so focused that she actually scooted back a bit. She didn't stared back at him, a little freaked out and he explained further.

"I can tell your hiding something by looking at your features; you're either lying or leaving something out." Carl took the paper away from her and read it over. He snorted. "Looks like someone has a love interest..."

"What? No-! I don't-!"

"Relax. I was talking about him."

"Yeah, he's kind of…into me. It's most of the reason why he's doing this." She opened up to him completely and wouldn't meet his gaze. "He wants revenge because I apparently broke his heart…"

"Break ups are hard." He shrugged.

"We were never dating." Vanessa stood up from the couch to go look out the window. "He was about to destroy the Tri State Area and take over the world, he asked me to join him and I refused. Now he has Platyborg and they're who knows where right now! Who knows what he's doing to the poor little guy?"

While she was talking Carl made his way behind her, she needed a shoulder right now so he put his hand on hers.

"I just hope he's alright…"

"I'm sure wherever Platyborg is he's fine, he _is _Doofenshmirtz' general after all…he's got to know _some _way to defend himself right?"

"Yeah, but for how long? It's just a matter of time before he says the wrong thing and Rodrigo snaps. What if Platyborg hurts him?"

Carl was taken aback by that last part "Wait, I thought you were worried about the cyborg. How did this come to you being worried about _Rodrigo_?"

"I'm worried about them both. Platyborg's like my brother…my annoying and obnoxious kid brother and Rodrigo…"

"You have feelings for him don't you?"

"I don't know…" She shook her head, uncertainly. "I thought I didn't, but now I don't know if I do now. I just hope Platyborg doesn't make him snap before I get to them. I want to find them and tell them what they both actually mean to me…"

Carl led her away from the window and shut the blinds. "Let's hope he doesn't snap Platyborg first."

…

"Rod…Rod…Rod…Roddy…Roddy…Rod…Rod…Rod…" Platyborg- who was tied up and sitting on a small crate –stopped and stared at the man across from him.

Rodrigo who also sat on a small crate, had an angry look on his face like he was going to explode.

"Rod-"

"WHAT? What could possibly be so important that you need to get my attention to say? We're alone in a room filled with boxes! There's no one here but you and me! You can just say what you want to say, although I'd like it if you stayed quiet!"

The cyborg stared at him and completely ignored what he just said "I'm hungry."

"You're hungry?"

"Yes."

"What makes you think I'm going to give you food? You should have eaten what I gave you at the hospital, instead of throwing it in my face and asking for meatloaf! You then threw the meatloaf and said you wanted macaroni! There is no sanity in you!"

"Hey Rod?"

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

"Why didn't you eat the cake instead of running around like the little maniac everyone knows you are?"

A pause.

"Hey Rod."

"_What?_"

"I want cake."

…

Vanessa finished drying her wet eyes with the tissue he gave her.

"Well, let's go." He walked past her and to the door.

"Where are we going?"

"The Old Abandoned Cake Factory."

"That was the meaning to the hint?" She followed him to his car (not the police car). It was dark colored so as not to be conspicuous.

"That's where we're going aren't we?" Carl replied and got in the front seat.

She didn't argue with him and soon she was buckling her seatbelt. The car pulled out of the driveway and they were on the road again.

…

The man bared his teeth and wrapped Platyborg's beak shut with tape. He stomped over to the window. He listened to the cars honk as the cool midday breeze blew in. His smiled grew wicked.

"Soon this entire town and the whole world will be mine. Only problem is…I need someone to share it with. That's where Vanessa comes in; she will be my queen…"

Platyborg watched him talk more and more about Vanessa until eventually his watch beeped. Rodrigo looked at it and smirked.

"Well I'd love to stay and chat with you, little cyborg platypus but I have a date." He left the room and there was a click as it locked.

The cyborg wiggled to try and get out of the ropes but he couldn't get free. He sighed through the tape and sat back; he sat back too far and fell off the crate.

…

They parked in the back of the cake factory and Carl quickly unbuckled his seatbelt, pulling a gun out from the glove compartment and loading it with a CLICK!

"What are you doing?!" Vanessa was alarmed that there was a weapon in the picture.

"I'm going in."

"I'm coming with you and there's no need for firearms in this situation!"

"There's _every _need for firearms in this situation! This is a kidnapping and kidnappings are dangerous business."

"Fine, then give me a gun too."

"I only have one and you're not coming with me." He told her, stepping out of the car and locking her inside.

"What are you doing? Unlock the door!"

"Please forgive me Miss Doofenshmirtz but I need to keep you safe and out of harm's way. What would your father say if I allowed you to get hurt by letting you come with me?"

"When my dad hears about this, I swear he'll-"

"Thank me that you're not dead." Carl interrupted and walked away from the car.

Vanessa called after him, not sure if he could hear her or not. "I'm starting to think you don't really know my dad at all!"

…

Carl found a vent and tore the cover off. He crawled into the ventilation system and soon found the room he was looking for. He kicked the cover so it fell outwards and landed with a crash on the floor. He jumped out and landed in a crouch. He was met with one widened with shock eye and one metal one. Platyborg was either completely freaked out or scared because as soon as the intern took a step towards him, the cyborg started fighting against the ropes holding him and desperately trying to get away.

"Shhh! It's okay! I'm here to free you."

Platyborg stopped moving and tilted his head to the side.

"Vanessa's outside in the car waiting. We have to hurry before-" The intern was knocked to the floor.

Rodrigo hovered over him with a gun and fired before Carl could reach his. A piercing pain shot through his side and the cyborg let out a muffled scream. The black haired scientist chuckled malevolently.

"Did you think you could stop me? I'm sorry to say that you are highly mistaken. Vanessa's outside you say? Well…why don't I pay her a little visit? What do you think little cyborg?" He picked up Platyborg roughly and dragged him out of the factory.

The intern grimaced and clutched his side which was in burning pain. He couldn't let him get away; he at least had to protect Vanessa! He reached into his dark coat and pulled out his gun, scrambling to his feet and running as fast as he could after Rodrigo. Warm wetness soaked his shirt and left a red trail behind him.

…

Vanessa was still angry at him for leaving and locking her in the car so while he was gone she thought up a list retorts to say back to him. There was a knock on the window and she was just about to offer a witty remark when a voice that was completely unexpected greeted her.

"Hello Vanessa…"

She jumped back when she saw Rodrigo through the window. She gasped and was enraged when he held up the tied up Platyborg. He was unconscious and unmoving.

"What did you do to him?!" She screamed and- even though she knew it was locked –started pulling on the door handle, of course it wouldn't open.

"I _may_ or _may not _have hit his head on a few steps when I was leaving the factory."

"You're a monster! I take back all the nice things I said about you!"

"You said nice things about me? Awww…" Rodrigo smirked.

"Let him go! Where's Kasey?!"

"Kasey? Oh you mean your little friend? He's…_incapacitated _at the moment."

"What have you done with him?!"

He smiled and walked off. "See you at our third date."

Vanessa pulled and slammed against the door but not surprisingly it didn't budge, with one final slam her head collapsed on the dashboard. She shook between sobs, what was she going to do now? Rodrigo took Platyborg AGAIN and Kasey…he's- he's-!

"V-Vanessa…" A weak voice came from her left.

She looked up to see Carl- or 'Kasey' as she thinks –and was incredibly relieved. The doors were unlocked and she opened the door about to get out and hug him.

"You're alive! I-I thought you were-"

"No time! Get back in the car!"

"What? Why-"

"No time! We have to follow them now if we're ever going to get Platyborg back!" He got in the car and stepped on the gas pedal. The car skidded into the street and the chase was on. They tailed Rodrigo's car at high speeds that most likely weren't legal.

It was then that Vanessa noticed the growing red stain in his shirt "Oh my gosh you're hurt!"

"I'm fine, it's just a graze." The car hit something but he paid no attention to it, his head was definitely not in the right place and in reality he wasn't fine. Loosing blood is NEVER a fine thing. Don't try this at home kids.

"He shot you?"

"Yeah." He replied like it was the most normal thing in the world, normal to _him _anyway.

"You say this like its normal." The car bumped again and she grasped the handle above her head "Have you been shot before?"

"Yes, yes I have but I'm not at liberty to discuss this right now." Things were getting blurry from his point of view. NEVER a good sign, you know unless you sprayed someone with pepper spray. Then of course you had a good reason to spray them in the eyes and them not seeing correctly is a good thing, for you anyway. If you're one of those people that spray people in the eyes for no reason then that's definitely not good and you need to get your sanity and/or humanity checked, and someone really needs to take that spray away from you…

The car was right in front of them now and Carl rammed it without thinking twice. Rodrigo's getaway car swerved off the road, through the guard rails and tumbled over into a nearby lake where it began to sink. He slammed on the breaks, only a few feet away from the accident. Vanessa screamed at him, opening the passenger door and running full speed to the lake. Well about as full speed as she could with that puffy dress and fancy shoes. He took those few moments to breathe and gather his thoughts. Only one came to mind.

What had he just done?

* * *

**A/N: OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED? XD**

**Natty is out, PEACE!**

**(TAKE THAT!...gonna need a summary change to go along with the plot so as not to be misleading…dangit! EVERY TIME!)**


	6. Holy Hey!

**Authors Note: Shortness…and thank you Frosty! I actually had this done since last weekend. *shrugs* I didn't forget to post it though, I just **_**didn't**_**. Anyways, yeah. xD**

* * *

Before we do anything, we should totally check up on Mr. Officer Policeman Guy and see how he's doing. It's only fair, right?

Mr. Officer Policeman Guy stood in the spot where his car once was.

"Dude…where's my car?"

That's enough of Mr. Officer Policeman Guy, it's time to go back to the main part of the story that you've all been waiting for….that's right!

…

"Nang-nang-nang-nang!"

Klimpaloon climbed the snowy mountain one sleeve at a time. He reached up to grab another ledge when his foot slipped. The snow poured down on him, he was dreadfully cold and sopping wet. The frozen water got into his eyes and stung them, clouding up his vision. He shut his eyes and blinked to clear them. He was torn and battered. That was the _last _time he would _ever _try and steal a rubber band ball.

Alright, I'm stalling. On with the resolution of the cliffhanger!

…

Stacy clipped her toe nails silently- Alright! Alright! I'm done! I'm done! xD

* * *

What had he just done? Platyborg was 80% metal, he'd sink and getting shot by that idiot would have been for nothing. Also, why was he just sitting there using up his adrenaline? He focused his eyes on Vanessa who was already running to the sinking car- wait a minute! What was she thinking?!

Carl ignored the stabbing pain in his side and threw the car door open, not bothering to close it. He ran after her and started walking cautiously down the steep hill of dirt. He slipped and tumbled down it, _that _certainly wouldn't help his wound heal by morning. He got up and continued running to her. Vanessa was already halfway in the water, pulling on the car like she could pull it back up by herself. The car was front first and sinking quickly, the shattered windows filling up with water. He had to stop her before she got hurt or something. He ran into the water, pulling her back by her waist. She fought against him but he was stronger, pulling her all the way back to land and sitting her on the ground. Her puffy black dress was wet up to her stomach. Vanessa got up and tried to rush past him, back to the car.

"Miss Doofenshmirtz, please calm down! You're going to hurt yourself."

"Platyborg-! T-the car-! He's-!"

"He's not in there!"

"What do you mean he's not in there? We followed the car all the way here before you rammed it! What were you thinking?! And now you're saying that Platyborg isn't in there drowning!"

"I'm aware of what I'm saying and it's true, he's not in there and I wasn't thinking at all. The blood loss got to my head. If I was paying attention I would have realized that this was a set up."

"A set up?"

"It's a decoy, a ploy, a joke, a misconception."

She blinked.

Carl sighed "They made us think that Platyborg was in that car when in reality he actually isn't. The only person in that car is a henchman, a henchman that- if questioned –probably could have told us some useful information. _Could have_." He put emphasis on the last part and looked at the car that was almost completely sunken "Not anymore."

"Is he going to be alright?" Vanessa pointed.

"No…he's dead."

She almost screamed "What?! We- we have to call 911!"

"No…we don't."

"Someone is dead! How can we not call the police?"

"We can't call the police because we would go to jail…and besides, it's not like anyone actually _knew him_." Carl shrugged and she glared back at him "What? I don't write the rules for these things! I'm just following almost every evil vs. good movie ever made. Followers of the bad guy are merely the muscle of his plan to keep people out of the way and to prevent the hero from stopping him. They are mere background characters not relevant to the actual plot, which reminds me…we need to get that clue and get out of here before we get caught."

"What clue?"

"The one on the antennae sticking out of the water over there." The intern pointed and she turned her head. The car was completely submerged except for the antennae on the back of the car sticking out of the water, taped to the tip of the antennae was a small folded piece of paper. How did she not notice that before? Without thinking she walked into the water to grab it just as the antennae sunk out of sight. She turned around to swim back when her dress got nagged on something (the car). Her body went completely under water and out of sight.

"Very funny Miss Doofenshmirtz." Carl crossed his arms and got no response. "…Miss Doofenshmirtz?" He was starting to get worried now "This isn't funny!" And he was absolutely right, there was nothing funny about this situation at all. "Vanessa?"

.

.

.

Oh

.

.

.

Crap

.

.

.

He ran into the water and took a big breath of air, then fully submerged himself underwater. He squinted and turned around, looking for her. Looking deeper he finally found her. Vanessa was limply floating in the water, the end of her dress snagged on the antennae. Carl swam over and wrapped both arms around her, trying to pull her up. It didn't work. He let go and swam below her, yanking on the caught end of her dress. He felt a sudden pain and saw red around his middle, the water _definitely _wasn't helping his wound and was making it bleed even faster. The light headedness was back and he shoved it away. He couldn't think about himself until his job was done, that's how it always was. He'd always put getting the job done ahead of himself for as long as he could remember. Right now his job was to get Platyborg and Vanessa safe. He was already failing with the cyborg as it is, he had to at least keep the girl out of harm's way!

Carl pulled a pocket knife from his coat and cut the fabric loose. She started floating to the bottom when he caught her bridal style in his arms. He swam back to land and gently lay her on the ground. The lightheadedness was too much to ignore now and he was on his back. His eyes were closing and he was losing consciousness. At the last few seconds he took the folded paper that was clutched in Vanessa's motionless hand. He read it over and his arms fell carelessly to his sides on the dirt beneath him.

_See you at D.E.I.L.W.W.F. _

_Don't worry about gas; we'll give you a ride there._

_-Rod._

_P.S. It's nice to see you again Carl…_

It was a trap. A large and bulky shadow stood over both of them, holding up a long and hard looking blunt object. With a forceful swing downwards the object connected with his skull, leaving him in pitch black darkness.

* * *

**A/N: This is the hardest one! Whoever gets THIS gets to majorly help me with the next chapter. You can use whatever resources you want to find the answer. The first three letters are obvious xD**

**Natty is out, PEACE!**


	7. Heart High

**Authors Note: Finally! This is back! Thanks to Frosty and Thank You WordNerb93 for running up with Brooke-Ler. (Yay Once-ler!) Here's to updating! **

**~Natty**

* * *

Vanessa came to and slowly became aware of her surroundings "Wha-…?

"Ah, you are finally awake my lovely flower" Rodrigo grinned.

She was fully awake barely even a second later, glaring at him "Don't call me that. Where's Kasey?"

"Kasey? You mean Car-"

"Let me guess…" Carl lifted his head slowly, he was weak…but still aware nonetheless. "You're still sore about that prank I pulled on you."

"Prank?" The Spanish teen shouted in bewilderment "YOU PUSHED ME INTO A GOOZIM PIT! THAT WASN'T FUNNY!"

The intern shrugged "I found it funny."

Rodrigo narrowed his eyes "That has nothing to do with-"

"I know. You're a love sick idiot who can't move on"

The darker skinned teen muttered "I am going to enjoy watching you slowly bleed to death" Walking around him and giving him a kick in the side, tearing his wound open even further and making him wince.

"Stop it!" Vanessa yelled.

Rodrigo grinned maliciously and kicked Carl again. Carl shook with pain but managed a shaky laugh. "Is that all you've got?"

Rodrigo scowled at Carl. "SHUT UP!" he yelled.

Vanessa heard a groan from beside her. She looked and saw Platyborg opening his eyes.

"Could you keep it down?" The cyborg mumbled. "I'm sleeping..."

Rodrigo turned to the cybernetic platypus. "You shut up, too! Once I'm done with him, you're next."

Platyborg stared at him, still half asleep. "No thanks... I'd prefer Foozleberry..." His head dropped and he let out a snore.

Rodrigo blinked in surprise. Frowning, he walked over to Platyborg. "Wake up!"

Carl shook his head. "I wouldn't do that."

Rodrigo gave him a death glare over his shoulder. Ignoring the intern's advice, he swung his foot at the cyborg... only to have it bounce off. Rodrigo grabbed his now aching foot and howled in pain.

Vanessa giggled at him, glad to see him brought down a notch. Carl managed an amused smirk through his pain.

Platyborg mumbled, "That's my corndog..." and kept snoring.

Through gritted teeth the Spanish teen muttered, lifting his fist "You little-"

"Leave him alone!" The girl yelled at him. "It's me you have the issue with! Leave both of them out of this!"

"Very well." Rodrigo smiled down at her, lowering his hand and helping her to her feet. He began pulling her to the door.

"Where do you think you're going, como?" Carl asked.

Rodrigo ignored the insult to his heritage and just glared "It's just like my beautiful flower said…" He sneered, pushing the both of them out the door. "This is between _me _and _her_."

The door slammed with a laugh and the noise was enough to make the incoherent cyborg- a little more 'aware'.

Platyborg lifted his head up, looking dazed and confused. The thing had bags under its eyes and it wobbled. It was then that the intern realized the cyborg had been drugged. Well, at least it wouldn't ask too many questions and blow his cover. In fact…it wasn't saying much of anything. It just stared at him, all dazed like-

"DEMON SPAWN! YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL!"

Carl sighed. _Of course _the thing didn't trust gingers. That meant escaping was going to be a real pain in the-

"Hey…" The cyborg narrowed its eye, actually looking like it had some smarts. At least it was thinking remotely clearly… "Do I know you?"

Great. It was thinking! Now, what was he supposed to do? His eyes wandered to a syringe on a nearby table, a smirk appeared on his face. He just found the one thing that would help him out of _both _of his dilemma's…

…

* * *

Vanessa was roughly shoved into another room of the water fortress, she scowled as he paced around her.

"So, how have you been?" He asked, trying to make conversation and she just glared silently.

He was trying to make conversation with her? Seriously? After everything that's happened? After endangering her metaphorical- and hopelessly annoying –smaller sibling? And her friend? Was he on narcotics?

"What's the matter, mija? Cat got your tongue? Why are you not speaking with me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Did you do something wrong? _Did you do something wrong?! _Of course, you did something wrong!" Vanessa exploded. "You almost killed my brother and one of my friends! They're both in terrible shape right now and we're in here, _talking_!"

Rodrigo blinked "The little cyborg platypus is doing okay."

"No he's not! He's doped up and he probably lost a lot of brain cells from being tossed around and given countless unknown substances!"

He laughed "I don't think you need to worry about brain cells, he did not have that many to begin with…"

"Shut up! You can't say that about him!"

"You talk about him this way all the time, why is it that it is different when I state the obvious?"

"He's my family! Not yours! You don't have a right to even say his name!"

"I _did not _say his name. To speak the truth, it feels weird when it rolls off my tongue." He gave an example "_Pl_at_y_b_org_. See? I don't like to say it."

"I don't care what you don't like to say! You can't talk about my family! Platyborg's my-"

"Father's servant."

"No! That's not what I was going to-"

"You say that he is your little brother," Rodrigo interrupted her yet again "But does he know that?"

She looked confused at what he was getting at "What are you-?"

"Please, my love, allow me to explain." He started to pace again and her eyes followed him as he spoke "You say that this thing is your sibling, your little brother, your family…how does he feel towards this accusation?"

"I don't-"

"I'll rephrase this. Does he think of you as his older sister?"

"I don't know. I never asked…"

"It is to my attention that he feels you don't like him."

"What are you talking about?! Of course I-"

"Yes, but he doesn't know that. Tell me Vanessa, what was the last thing you said to your- _sibling_, before he was taken."

Vanessa thought back to the day before Platyborg's dentist appointment, frowning as the flashback became clearer.

* * *

_*Cue Flashback!*_

_Platyborg walked past Vanessa's bathroom and stopped to watch her. She was humming to herself and using a straightener to curl her hair. Unknowingly, she was standing on the wire with her heel, the heel cutting into the wire. The lid on the toilet seat next to her was open and she placed the iron on the counter, it started to teeter. It would have fallen in the bowl of water if not stopped, and with her heel jabbing into the cord…_

_Let's just say the outcome wouldn't have been pleasant. The cyborg saw this and gasped._

"_V-Vanessa?"_

"_What are you doing in my bathroom? Get out of here, you freak! I'm doing my hair!"_

"_But Vanessa-"_

"_Tell dad I'll be down in a minute! I'm almost done!" And then she muttered to herself as she placed a curler in her hair "I swear…guys will never understand this…"_

_The straightening iron fell over the edge and the cyborg dived for it, catching it. He caught it on the blistering hot part and his hand burned painfully because of it. In pain but still worrying about Vanessa's safety, he kept hold of the iron, no matter how horrible the pain in his hand was. He accidentally stepped in a small puddle of water and jump started the cycle of electricity. It burned through him first and when the teen looked down it was her turn as the shock went through her next. Her hair puffed up immensely and stood on end, she looked horrified in the mirror._

"_Look what you did to my hair!" Vanessa screamed at him. "You ruin everything, you little idiot!"_

_She didn't notice her father behind her, coming after hearing them both scream._

"_Why can't you go live somewhere else?! You're useless and no one likes you here!"_

"_Vanessa…" Her father warned but she ignored him._

"_I . HATE. YOU!"_

_Platyborg sniffed and ran out of the bathroom, pushing past both Doof and Vanessa. Vanessa bit her lip and her father crossed his arms at her._

_*End Flashback*_

* * *

Rodrigo nodded "Oh yes, he told me all about that. How the straightener was going to fall in the toilet and how you could have been killed because of it, how he stopped it and you said you wanted him to leave forever…"

"I never said I wanted him to leave forever!" Vanessa argued.

"You may as well have." He told her "We had a long chat, the two of us in the dentist' office. He was very sad and told me the whole story. _Me_- being the generous person I am –told him that I could fix his problems. I could make his sadness go away and make you never be upset with him again. He asked me how and I explained to him the magic of _narcotics _and how they can make things _different _from a perspective…"

"You tricked him!"

"I didn't. He hasn't been bothering you, has he?"

"Are you kidding? He was even worse than before!"

"Really?" Rodrigo blinked "I thought for sure he'd behave better or at the very least, put himself in a coma. Either way, he wouldn't be a bother to you…"

"He's not a bother! He's just…kind of…-"

"Slow? Stupid? Idiotic? No brained? Dyslexic? Tell me when I have found the right word."

"He's none of those things! He's a completely normal, little boy!"

"Boy, you say? Does not look much like a boy to me, looks more like freaky cyborg."

"He is NOT a freak, Rodrigo! You take that back! You-! You-!"

"I, what? What are you going to call me, my beautiful flower?"

They were right in each other's faces now, glaring into each other's eyes. Without thinking, Vanessa pressed her lips against his, neither one pulling away.

* * *

Carl through the unresponsive cyborg over his shoulder and threw the ropes that he had just cut away with the end of the needle to the ground. He felt bad for using the last dosage to send Platyborg into unconsciousness. (He made a mental note to apologize to Doofenshmirtz later). He just couldn't risk the cyborg doing anything to jeopardize anything or anyone. Kidnappings were serious and dangerous business, he told himself as he opened the door. They were no place for-

His breathing halted and his features fell, his heart shattering at the sight of Vanessa and Rodrigo kissing each other. In is shock, he dropped Platyborg face first with a dull thud, the two spinning around to face him after hearing it.

Everything was silent.


	8. Femme Finale

**Authors Note: Last chapter…and then epilogue. Wow. I did not see that coming.**

**~Natty**

* * *

He was a vampire, or, he felt like one at least. He stood there in the doorway, frozen to the spot. He felt cold, like ice had just shattered inside of him, leaving this freezing and empty feeling in the place of something warm and fuzzy. He felt like a baby, who's lollipop was forcibly taken away and he was left to cry. He felt like-

Look, I could use a million different fancy and clever metaphors for how he felt at that exact moment as he stared at the two that were staring back at him. Rodrigo was smiling at him, Vanessa just looked disturbed, not saying a word. So it was true.

He felt…angry, and now irritated. Carl frowned, looking agitated more than anything, scowling. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…_interrupt_ anything important…"

Vanessa was quick to defend "What? No, you didn't-"

"Actually…" Rodrigo grinned, stepping forward. "You are. Why don't you come back later, no? _We_-" He wrapped his arms around the girl who squirmed in his hold in disgust "-are _very_ busy and require a bit of privacy, so why don't you-"

"Get your hands off of her!" The intern yelled and lunged forward, successfully delivering a roundhouse kick to the Spanish teen's face.

Rodrigo sat himself up from the floor, glaring and wiping the blood from his nose with his sleeve. He stood back up, closing in the space between him and the red haired boy. "You are going _regret_ doing that, Senor _Carl._"

"Bring it, Como!"

The boys ran at each other, starting to fight. Vanessa watched them go at each other, fists connecting, kicks, dodges, witty comebacks. So much violence was happening before her, between two guys that she might like, maybe even more than that…

"Vanessa!" Rodrigo said "There's something you need to know about Carl!"

Of course she wanted Kasey to win, it was Good vs. Evil, she always wanted Good to prosper. Kasey _was _on her side right? She barely even knew the guy, now that she thought about it. He had been a complete stranger, who just so happened to open the police car she was sitting in and after not a lot of explanation, they had driven away in _said _police car, which, now that she thought about it, the whole idea sounded ridiculous. What kind of policeman would just loan their car to someone? Especially a teenager, at least, she thought. He _was_ shorter than her anyways…

Actually…now that she thought about it, some things were kind of questionable and a little bit wrong. Why would this boy- whom she's never met before and now doubted her father even knew him –have keys to her father's 2nd suburban house, and better yet, keep it hidden in his shoes? And why does he even own a gun in the first place? She didn't really think he was a cop or anything. Maybe he was a spy… Who was this kid? She didn't know him at all, she didn't even know his last name! Speaking of which, how did he even _know _her name? He always called her by her last name and…why was he so formal? This Kasey boy was a whole mystery on his own, and it was now that she was really starting to question it.

"Carl?" She asked, turning to the boy whose real name was in question "I thought you said your name was Kasey?"

"With all due respect Ms. Doofenshmirtz…" The intern dodged a hit and continued "I never told you my name, you just took it upon yourself to nickname me."

"But you said your name was Kasey!"

"No, those are my initials backwards. You just mistook them as a word in its own…and besides…it would have been better for everyone if you didn't know my name."

Vanessa murmured the name 'Kasey' a few times, finally realizing her mistake and play on letters. "So…your initials are K.C., then?"

"Well, you actually have to reverse the-"

"Don't listen to him!" Rodrigo told her, interrupting, the two males having stopped their fight. "He's already lied to you once, don't think he won't do it again!"

"I didn't _'lie'. _She simply mistook my name for letters that just sounded like my-"

"Quiet Carl! If that's even your real name!" The Spanish boy accused.

"Rodrigo, you _know _my name, my real first name and that's it! It's Carl."

"Well, what's your last name?" Rodrigo asked him.

"Karl" He answered and leaned back casually to avoid the junior scientist's pointing finger that was all but thrown in his face.

"You see?" Rodrigo spoke to Vanessa "You cannot trust him!"

"Shuddup Como!" Carl retorted "That's my full name!"

The taller boy ignored the smaller, still trying to get through to the girl "Do you see how he insults my heritage and name? Is that not wrong? _He _is the one you cannot trust! And I will wait with you until the policia arrive to _arrest _this scoundrel and then I can take you and your _brother_ back safely to your father. He must be worried _sick _for the both of you, no?" Rodrigo took a step toward her with his hand held out to her and she stepped back, not necessarily accepting his offer. Then again, she didn't _not _accept it either.

"I..." Vanessa looked between them. She didn't know. Could she trust either of them anymore? At all? They both stared back at her, waiting, _some _more patient than others…

Rodrigo was giving a smile that threatened to stretch off his face, all the way past his cheeks if that was even possible, his hand clasped together as he hummed hopefully. Carl rolled his eyes at the Spanish boy.

She heard a groan beside her and looked to see Platyborg lifting his head a few inches from the floor, he hissed in pain and laid it back down. Her eyes went wide when she saw that his head was bleeding on the floor, his eye shut as he moaned in pain, quite overdramatically actually. Vanessa turned her attention back to both of them. "L-look I- I can't, I-…I have to get him back to my dad. He's hurt and…" She trailed off, fighting back tears as she backed away from both boys, shaking her head. She was too hurt, too confused and conflicted. This wasn't Twilight! One of them wasn't a vampire! She picked up the cyborg in her arms, tears starting to spill. "I- I can't…" She ran out the door.

Carl blinked and Rodrigo just glared at the intern.

"Do you see what you've done? You have ruined both of our chances! You fool!"

"Why don't you see _this_?" He asked and gave the Spanish teen a kick in the shin. Carl ran to the computer while Rodrigo was incapacitated and waited a few seconds before hovering his finger over the button labeled 'Caution!', thinking better of it he clicked the one next to it that was colored like a bumble bee. An alarm started buzzing.

"_Self-Destruct Sequence Initiated…" _The female computer voice announce and everything was over.

"What have you done?!" Rodrigo cried, limping to stand and head for the door to escape their impending doom.

The intern tackled him, successfully pinning him down. "It's over." Carl said, the pain in his heart now throbbing. "It's all over…"

* * *

Vanessa laid the cyborg down gently in the backseat of their dark colored car that was apparently towed here or something, trying to nudge Platyborg awake or at least into semi-consciousness. If she was going to go home and pretend that nothing happened to her father, then she needed the cyborg to at least be able to nod his head to somewhat back her up. "Platyborg…Hey…wake up sweety…"

"Hm?" The cyborg was dazed opening his eye a bit to squint at her, he whimpered.

"Hey…how are you feeling?"

"The u-unicorn s-stole my r-rainbow…"

"Shhh, its okay. Look, I'm going to need you to back me up with dad when I say that you were kidnapped by some guy you don't know the name of and couldn't possibly identify if you tried, when I tried to save you, they captured me too and we were both drugged so we don't remember much of anything that happened. Can you do that for me?"

Platyborg tilted his head at her, looking her up and down in confusion. "Who are you?"

Vanessa didn't looked pleased and asked him "Can you nod your head yes?"

The cyborg shook his head no at her.

She shrugged "Close enough." Vanessa jumped, something catching in her throat as she heard an explosion almost directly above both of them. She saw the building imploding behind her through the rearview mirror and she turned around, mouth agape and silenced. She couldn't do it before but now she could. She discovered her true feelings in that instant and stared as the one she most definitely loved died before her eyes.

As the one she loved had said before, it was most definitely over…


End file.
